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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Depression (sorry to be dull here)

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Author Topic: Depression (sorry to be dull here)
Dark_Wolf
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Been pondering again..the thinking person that I am.
What are the signs people are depressed?
Are there any signs?
I always thought that people who were depressed acted in different ways to other depressed people. I thought everyone acted in there own way in reaction to depression. I mean like one person may hide it and one may become all quiet and angry and obvious.
is this right? I sometimes feel that maybe I am suffering from depression but that always sounds so extreme and attention grabbing so I don't bring it up. I act all happy but inside I'm not and I cry myself to sleep. I got into the habit of cutting the skin on my arms and pricking myself with needles and stuff. Is this depression? or are there other motives for self harm such as boredome or curiosity? and what is the difference between stress and depression? can they have the same affects?
I hope you can help because I think I need to understand more about depression before I bring anything up with a friend of mine. I think she is suffering from depression. there was a big thing at school about her being depressed and seeing a doctor who was going to prescribe prozac or something. It all died down and she stopped going to the doctor. But I see no change in her behaviour and I'm worried she's not changed at all. I want to bring it up but I don't know if there is anyway that you should approach a depressed person? ( I don't mean like they are dangerous but she may be touchy).Also her behaviour of mood swings and snappyness and sulking etc reminds me of how I feel inside and gets me wondering about myself. this i difficult to explain but I hope somebody can attempt to help me please.
thanks...
*Dark_Wolf*

Posts: 37 | From: England | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lucky1402
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Well, one thing that can be a sign of depression is feeling sad, lonely, hopeless, and/or "lifeless" for a certain period of time (usually two weeks or more)- it can be any one of those feelings or a combination of them. However, it's often hard to tell whether someone has depression or not, because what you said is true, everyone acts differently; some people show outward changes, and some hide their pain inside, so it's hard to notice. But there are a few changes that can be noted as alert signs of possible depression: irritability, changes in eating and sleeping habits, losing interest in past hobbies and enjoyments, becoming distant (from friends and family), and copious crying. Those are good indications that something may be wrong, but it doesn't necessarily mean depression- there are any number of other things that could cause those actions, such as stress, illness, or other disorders.

As for the difference between stress and depression- I'm not sure that I can correctly identify an actual one difference. If anyone else can, be my guest. Though, if you have dealt with either of those, you can definitely feel a difference, I'm sure; while stress is hard to deal with and uncomfortable, depression is extremely serious and can even be life-threatening. Stress can lead to depression, and vice versa- but if it goes past the point of being stressful, and you feel hopeless and truly miserable, it likely could be depression. If any of you feel that you might have depression, it is important to see a doctor as soon as you can- that way, they can diagnose your problem, and discuss options available for dealing with it. And it can be dealt with- today there are numerous medications that treat depression, and when combined with counseling, have a high rate of success.

Now, about you physically harming yourself: self mutilation is actually an illness by itself, that can be treated. It's usually accompanied by depression, and it's very important that you tell a doctor, a family member, or a school counselor about all of this. Harming yourself is just that: harmful, both physically and mentally. I know it's hard, as many of us here at Scarleteen have been through it, but you have to tell someone so that you can get help. The sooner you tell someone, the sooner you can be diagnosed, and the sooner you can start getting better. Please believe me, it is possible to get through this. You may feel that you shouldn't bother people with this, or that it isn't important enough- but it is quite important, and that why you have to let someone know. Those who truly care for you will be very greatful if you do; they want to see you happy and healthy. I do have one question, though- are you having (or have you recently had) thoughts of suicide or "ending your pain?" Please tell me, as it is a very important question- and if the answer is 'yes,' that is even more reason to tell someone asap. Though I'm sure you've heard it before, suicide is not the answer- there are people who care about you, and will help you if you need it.

And about your friend- if you have noticed that she hasn't gotten any better, or she is exhibiting some bad signals, it may actually be a benefit to her if you ask her about it. You must go about it lightly though- if she's in pain, and is irritable and ashamed of how she feels, she likely could be touchy about the subject. Confront her when the two of you can be alone, not within a large group of people; be objective, and ask clarifying questions. Perhaps you could start by asking if she has been feeling okay lately, or if anything is wrong- if she starts to get agitated, don't pry. Tell her that you're just concerned for her well-being, and that if anything is wrong you want her to let you know. However, it's possible that she won't want to talk about it, and in that case, maybe you could confide your worries to a good and trustworthy friend, or your parents. If your friend has already had depression in the past, the chance of her getting it again is greatly increased- and if she stopped seeing a doctor, or stopped taking the medication, it's quite possible that it never went away at all. But you are quite a good friend- it's great that you are concerned for her, and she's lucky to have a loyal friend like you.

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~*Scarleteen Advocate

"I hate broccoli. And yet, in a certain sense- I AM broccoli." --The Tick


Posts: 492 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dark_Wolf
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In light of the whole 'ending the pain' thing. I have pondered about suicide. as I am sure many people have. I don't think I have ever thought about in the manner that I intend to actually carry the act out. I do feel REALLY low sometimes and I feel stressed out and crap. I am in the middle of exams and two of my closest friends have just got together. I love them both but I really like the guy and I'm now jealous of the girl. I try to be happy for them but seeing them together doesn't help and I get really annoyed and jealous and it makes me feel really alone and unwanted. its all a jumble of things. The above mentioned problem is a recent one. another is that I can't talk to my parents. I don't have a close relationship with them at all and I can't talk to them about anything. they are the main reason I am so run down and low.
So no, I haven't thought about suicide in the way that I would try to attempt it. But I do think about it alot. I don't think I'm brave enough to take my own life.

Posts: 37 | From: England | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lucky1402
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It's good that you haven't actually thought about attempting suicide, but thinking about it quite a lot is still cause for concern. Granted, I'll be honest here: many of us have days once in a while when we simply think of it, and wonder what would happen. But if thinking about it is a common occurance, or the idea appeals to you, that signals that you are very unhappy, and that is something that should not be kept inside; keeping things like hurt and depression inside of you can actually make a situation worse in the end. Please tell someone about your feelings, and that you have been hurting yourself- anybody who is any kind of friend at all will be there to support you and help you feel better. In fact, I'm sure that just having someone to vent to would be helpful. But you can't keep it bottled up for long, and you definitely can't keep hurting yourself.

Although I can't fully understand what it is like to be distant from your parents, I do understand a little, and I'll tell you this: if you truly feel that you cannot trust them with this problem, or that they would not be very helpful, tell someone else. It is important that you do- find someone you can trust and confide in- another relative (your grandparents, perhaps?), an older friend, a favorite teacher, or even better, your school counselor. He/she would be a very good person to tell, because they can offer you emotional support and counseling, refer you to helpful testing facilities and doctors, and even call your parents and explain the situation to them (that way, it takes away the stress of having to tell them yourself). Sooner or later, through whatever means, your parents should find out about you're feelings: even though you don't get along with them, and they are often a problem in your life, I'm quite sure they love you, and they wouldn't want to see you in pain like this. You may not have a close relationship with them, but maybe now is the time to start- besides, if they are any kind of decent parents, they will love you and want to help you no matter how close a relationship you have with them. It's never too late- for becoming closer to your parents, or getting help for your possible depression.

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~*Scarleteen Advocate

"I hate broccoli. And yet, in a certain sense- I AM broccoli." --The Tick


Posts: 492 | From: Michigan | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dark_Wolf
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I can't really admit to it though..not face-to-face with someone I know. I feel ashamed about it. I did talk to my best friend abot it but she got all heavy on me and asked loads of questions..which i didn't want. I don't want anyone else to know..it's hard to explain but it isn't something I want to shout from the roof-tops.
and I don't see how I can get closer to my parents. I don't even like them.
Thank you for ur advice and it's nice to know somebody cares.


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Sunset_Rose
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I'm sorry I got all heavy on you, and asked loads of questions, I just got so worried about you that I wasn't giving my best advice. I want you to know that if you want to talk I'm always here to listen. Guess I really just posted here to let you know I will try my best to help you through this, and if that means just shutting up for once and being your shoulder to cry on, I'm gonna do my best.

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Daydreamer24
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I'm confused...
...are you two friends IRL or something?

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butterfly12
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It's really a shame that depression, a disease that effects so many people, has turned into something people feel ashamed of - that people have to worry that people will think they're just craving attention. If only they knew?

If you're feeling the way your feeling, as much as you may not like it, maybe you should talk to your doctor about trying an anti-depressant. If this is a long-term problem that is affecting the way you live it would be wise to get help. I know you said you don't want to shout it from the roof-tops and you don't feel comfortable talking to your parents, which makes it so much more difficult, but can you go to the doctor on your own? I'm not sure how old you are, or if you have insurance for doctors visits, but it might be a possibility.
If you choose not to get help, I hope you can realize that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel - you just have to be strong enough to get that far. I wish you the best of luck, and like Sunset_Rose said, you have people here that you can turn to.

And you know what?
"Happy people are all the same, but sad people are all unhappy in their own way."
A nice quote, one of my favorites, but I don't think that includes hurting yourself. Self-mutalation is a scary thing; it's dangerous. Please be careful.

I'm here too if you need me...
I didn't mean to preach either


Posts: 43 | From: Gaspesie, Quebec | Registered: Jan 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Dark_Wolf
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yes daydreamer. we are friends from school. Well, Sunset is my best friend actually but we tend not to use the 'best friend' term as it causes problems.


Posts: 37 | From: England | Registered: Sep 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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