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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » i duno?

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Author Topic: i duno?
Member # 10555

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im not too sure where to put this topic so here i go!

yesterday i had sex for the first time with my bf-- im 15 by the way...i definitly think it was a huge mistake we both made and should have waited--i wasnt ready to but my hormones took over

today = im soo confused about what to very irritable and uncomfortable with everyone....i cant get my mind off of it!

is this normal? is there anything i can do to get my mind off of it?
please help

Posts: 3 | Registered: Nov 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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You know, our hormones can't take our bodies over or make them do things against our will. I understand that you're feeling conflicted right now, but not holding yourself accountable for your own actions really isn't going to help any.

Is it normal to have conflicting feelings about first-timme sex? Sure, absolutely. Though my experience is most people feel conflicted because the sex didn't go the way they thought it would, which is usually a way that is LESS realistic than how these things actually go. So, chances are how things went for you were pretty similar to how any first-time sex would go.

The best way to get your mind off of things is to really think about and process them, truth be told. So, it's worth thinking about WHY you feel the way you do and doing what you can about it. For instance, if the regret has anything to do with nnot using adequate birth control or safer sex protection, get EC if you need to and arrange for testing in a while if you need to.

if it has to do with your relationship, call your partner and talk to him about it. he may need to do the same himself, you know.

But we make choices, we can't usually undo them. So wishing one hadn't done something one had is of very limited use. Really thinking things through, caring for yourself as you need it, and dealing with the consequences is far more productive.

Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 10445

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Isn't it funny how movies and such portray sex? They don't mention any of the feelings or thoughts that get integrated into the whole scheme. They make it seem like the first time should be utterly perfect. I don't think it ever is for anyone; nothing is perfect.

...i've done all i can do; could i please come with you?

Posts: 63 | From: nowhere | Registered: Oct 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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