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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Lost

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Author Topic: Lost
Member # 9461

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My grandmother, whom I was very close to, died last night.

I don't know what I'm even asking, I guess I just need some support.

Posts: 119 | From: SoRoa | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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*hug* stay close to family and friends for now, they can help you most. i've been there, too.

"Things are only fragile till they break."

Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 9461

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Sorry this might be a long message. I'm real upset now because everything's just been happening so fast and I don't know what to do or where to start. It's been a really fast and really depressing morning. I don't understand why God has to take people out of this world, why he had to take my grandma. Me and her were real close, I've been crying all day. I hate this, I wish she would just like pop out of a closet and be like "surprise! wow I fooled you!" but I know that will never happen.

My grandpa said that he tried to wake her up this morning around 9, but she was cold already. He called 911 and the rescue people came but she was gone. He's been crying too--the first time I've ever seen my grandpa cry. My mom dosen't know yet. She spent the night at her friend's house last night and
hasn't come home yet. My dad and I drove out there, but they had left already to go to this book sale out in another county. We didn't want to call her, because you know this isn't something that's best told over the phone.

I don't know what will happen now. The funeral people already took her to the parlor, I guess they're doing an autopsy or something I don't know. My dad and grandpa and I just got home from my uncle's house. We drove like three hours today trying to find my mom at her friend's and coming back then going to my grandpa's house to get him and it's such a mess and I'm so tired. =*(

Posts: 119 | From: SoRoa | Registered: Aug 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 26

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Sweetie, I'm so sorry It's always hard to lose someone you are close to, and grief can be a very difficult experience.

When someone dies, especially when they are elderly, you have to focus on how they lived their life, and celebrate it. A year and a half ago, one of my friends was murdered at age 22 by her ex-boyfriend, and because it was so sudden and unexpected, I couldn't come to terms with what had happened. I let myself grieve for her, and with time, I am now able to look back on her life, and all that she acomplished and how many lives she touched in her few years. Now days, I remember her and I smile.

Give yourself time and surround yourself with those you love and those who love you.

When Helen died, one of my fellow advo's posted this for me, and I hope it helps you too:

From "The Little Prince" by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry

"And at night you will look up at the stars. Where I live everything is so small that I cannot show you where my star is to be found. It is better, like that. My star will just be one of the stars, for you. And so you will love to watch all the stars in the heavens... they will all be your friends. And, besides, I am going to make you a present..."

He laughed again.

"Ah, little prince, dear little prince! I love to hear that laughter!"

"That is my present. Just that. It will be as it was when we drank the water..."

"What are you trying to say?"

"All men have the stars," he answered, "but they are not the same things for different people. For some, who are travelers, the stars are guides. For others they are no more than little lights in the sky. For others, who are scholars, they are problems. For my businessman they were wealth. But all these stars are silent. You-- you alone-- will have the stars as no one else has them--"

"What are you trying to say?"

"In one of the stars I shall be living. In one of them I shall be laughing. And so it will be as if all the stars were laughing, when you look at the sky at night... you-- only you-- will have stars that can laugh!"

And he laughed again.

"And when your sorrow is comforted (time soothes all sorrows) you will be content that you have known me. You will always be my friend. You will want to laugh with me. And you will sometimes open your window, so, for that pleasure... and your friends will be properly astonished to see you laughing as you look up at the sky! Then you will say to them, 'Yes, the stars always make me laugh!' And they will think you are crazy. It will be a very shabby trick that I shall have played on you..."

And he laughed again.

"It will be as if, in place of the stars, I had given you a great number of little bells that knew how to laugh..."

And he laughed again.

Posts: 1030 | From: Aotearoa | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 139

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I understand what you are going through. It has been almost 6 months since I lost my grandmother, and these last months have been very difficult. My parents have been wonderful. My best friend has always been there. She was there when my grandmother died.

I wrote my grandmother a poem, and I read it at her memorial, the day before mother's day. I don't know if this is possible at this point or not, but before the funeral home came to get her body, each member of the family wrote a good-bye to my gramma. These letters were cremated with her.

I wish you the best of luck.

Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7218

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When i was 14 i lost my older brother to suiside. It situation is differant im sure, but heres some things i did when i had to deal with this stuff.As much as i didnt want to see the world these were the only things that kept me going, and kept me from joining my brother

* I spent a lot of time with friends, you might not feel like you want to, but they can help you to keep your mind off it and what not*

* as corny as this sounds just think of the good times, laugh about things with your family, try to keep your mind off the fact that such a terrible thing has happened.

* Keep close to your family right now, their dealing with the same thing as you and you can all offer comfort to eachother.

If theres anything you need dont hesitate to ask, death is a very hard subject to deal with, and its always good to have someone to talk to. I speak from experience.



Posts: 47 | From: New York | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 7667

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I don't know if this will help you, but it does help me to keep life in perspective. It's paraphrased from the Sci-Fi show "Babylon 5"

"I will tell you a secret, perhaps the greatest ever told. the molecules that make up your body are the same molecules that make up the trees and the earth, that burn in the stars overhead. We are starstuff, we are the universe made manifest, trying to figure itself out."

Posts: 126 | From: Ferndale, Mi USA | Registered: Apr 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 8696

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Tigress, I am sad for you in what must be a hard time for you. I hope you and your family are coping ok.

You've been given some excellent replies further up in the thread, but if you feel like you would like to memorialize your grandmother's meaning to you, feel free to do so in this thread too:

BIG hugs


Posts: 419 | From: Tivoli | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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