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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Support Groups » Dealing with Cancer

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Author Topic: Dealing with Cancer
DarkChild717
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Alright, I searched for this topic, but I didn't find it. I figured this would be a good place for it.

My Gramma has had cancer since June. She has it in her mediastine. It's kind of where the lungs branch from the esophagus. She was responding well to her treatment and everything. Her tumor shrank.

She told us today that the cancer has spread to her brain, and that it can't be operated on.

I just needed someone to tell, and I know a lot of other people have had family who are dealing with or who have died of cancer. We all need a place to say how we feel, and talk to others who have had the same experience as you. So, here we go.

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MPAA Rating: PG for mild peril.


Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lookin4luv
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my grandfather had cancer unfortunately he passed away. the cancer had been eating at his spine and the doctors thought he had back problems. it was really hard for me cuz i was closest 2 him(from all my granparents)....my other grandfather died when i was born, my grandmother died before i could remember, and my other grandmother had parkinsan's diesise(her tounge was parlize and other parts of her body....she couldnt talk). so anyway he was the only grandparent that i really knew. what waas worse was that they probably could have saved him if they had known before. i really loved him so i know how u feel....just pray for her and tell her how much u love her. i never got to because he lived in israel. so tell her while u have the chance.
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Celtic Daisy
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I'm so sorry darkchild and lookin4love. Cancer is a very difficult thing to deal with, especially when the situation looks hopeless. My aunt has breast cancer but it was caught very fast and she had the tumor removed a year ago with virtually no problems.

The only thing i can say to you is be there for her, let her know you're around and can help. And don't worry, you have friends at scarleteen to help you out.

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'You've got the eyes of ten women. Not in a jar! I wasn't accusing you. I just mean your eyes are really nice'-coupling

Erin Jane
~Scarleteen Advocate~


Posts: 1747 | From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DarkChild717
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Gramma knows I love her. Besides my brother, I am the only grandchild that listens to the stories of her childhood. I have a deep interst in my family history. My brother and I both have taken interest. She teaches me the time-learned tricks for cookies, jams, jellies, chocolate dipped strawberries. She has taught me this vast wealth of knowledge. She's the kind of person who commands respect without saying a single word. It's all in her aura. Even the most unruly dogs listen to her like the well trained animals the owners wish they could be. It's amazing, but it's so heart wrenching to see her weak. Gramma was always invincible to me as a child. And my family is sick, so we can't go see her yet. And that kills me.

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MPAA Rating: PG for mild peril.


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frozendreams
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first of all i wanted to say that i could not remember my password or the email addressed i used for my last name. but anyway this is unhappykoger. anyway, i have a long history of cancer in my family. ive had so many people die of cancer and right now my husbands grandfather is dying of cancer. and i have a friend who was told she only has a few weeks to live. its hard but you will get through it. it just takes time. i wish the best for you.
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Gumdrop Girl
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Dealing with a family member with cancer is rough. My dad is in remission. He has colon cancer. He was diagnosed Dec. 18, 1998. Yeah, a week before Christmas. It was a rough holiday. The prognosis at the time was grim - 50/50 for survival. The cancer was already in its late stages and there were lesions on his liver that maycould be malignant. My mother, who is an otherwise stoic woman, went completely mad. She cried for days and rampaged through the house tearing up all the christmas cards. My sister became belligerent and withdrawn. And I simply became withdrawn. My biggest fear in all the world is losing my parents. The very idea gives me the shakes. I did my fair share of anonymous crying on several emails lists (I never used my name, so no one knew who i was).

I got in touch with a guy who lost his dad to lung cancer a few years before. we talked about it. i felt a lot better after hearing his experiences.

My dad's lucky, but he illness has taken its toll on hi. he aged about 15 years in the span of a few months. And now, whenever we talk, he's encouraging me to finish school quickly so that I can take over his practice. he always adds that his health is fialing and he doesn't know how long he has. No kid needs that sort of pressure. but that's my own rant, and i digress...

hang in there folks. i've been there too.

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oh, don't even po-mo me, baby...


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Lady Moonlight
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DarkChild, here's an idea for you, if you haven't thought of it already: Have you considered taping some of your grandmother's stories while she's still around?

My remaining grandparents are healthy but they're both over 80, so a few weekends ago I went up to visit them and took my tape recorder. We have some wonderful family stories, and it's important to me to get them on tape while my grandparents are still around.

Anyhow, you have my sympathies. We're always here to listen.


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shimmers n' such
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Hey,

My father was diagnosed about 6 years ago with prostate cancer. Being stubborn that he was, he refused to go to the doctor for any checkups until the cancer was very far along. He was doing very well on some medication, but it gradually became useless. He was put on chemo, and radiation, but unfortunately, it didn't do much except keep the tumour generally around the same size. That was a good thing, as I had my father longer, but he was constantly in pain. One day, I was told that all those aches and pains he had were due to the cancer-it had spread to his bones, and not only that, but his brain. It was almost immediately downhill from here. He became very ill, and was put in a palliative care hospital. He passed away about 2 years ago. He was an absolutely wonderful man, and I still have very bad days sometimes. Something will trigger my memory, a movie, a scent, and I will be a wreck for the rest of the day. Luckily, my boyfriend is very supportive and will hold me and comfort me for hours on end if that is what I need.
I had a lot of trouble after my dad passed on. He was always protective, almost to a fault, and when he passed, I had sudden freedom. I went a little bit crazy, staying out all night, getting drunk, anything. I was NOT myself. Eventually, I found a happy medium. As mentioned, I still have bad moments on occasion, but my fond memories get me through the hard times, and I know my dad loved me very much.
Cancer can be terribly devastating, but I promise you, it will get easier. Time really does heal.


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Bobolink
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When people come to accept that they have a fatal condition, they often realise that there are things that they must do to prepare for the inevitable. One of the things your grandmother might well value is assistance in getting her affairs in order. Let her know that you are willing to assist in any way that you can.

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We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

- Albert Einstein

[This message has been edited by Bobolink (edited 04-03-2002).]


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DarkChild717
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Yeah, I've considered taping our conversations. I have a pretty good memory, though. Good enough to keep straight my very twisty family tree. Gramma and I used to sit down and I'd ask questions and write down the answers. We'd go through the old family trunk (It's about 150 year's old...my great great uncle made it and brought it from Norway). It has memories from the past 4 or so generations. She also has a green velvet photo album we go through. The generations before us only wrote on about half of the pictures, so neither of us have any clue who some of them are.

A side note, Gramma turns 79 on Sunday, April 7.


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DarkChild717
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Alright. Gramma went to the doctor. They said that if she does not do radiation therapy, she has 2-3 months left to live. If she does go through with the therapy, it will improve her quality of life and possibly extend it just a little bit.

She's a brave woman. Her opinion is that she's led a full life, and now it's winding down, and she is no longer needed here on earth.

I just hope that in our grief when she does pass on, that someone will remember that Grandpa is in the closet....He died in 1998 and was cremated, and Gramma wished for them to be buried together. So Grandpa is hanging out in the closet.

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MPAA Rating: PG for mild peril.


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foreveryoung
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Well i figure people are done posting to this, but i read it so maybe someone else will.

My Grandma found out she had cancer at the start of last summer. She new that somthing was wrong before that but they couldn't find the problem. They say pancries cancer is hard to detect.

She had her 50th wedding anny in the hospital, we made her a powerpoint on the labtop that included a lot of pictures of her and my grandfather, and us.. She said a lot of things to me that were really insipiring right before she died, and i was never 2 close to her.
She died on Christmas eve. She was heavens Christmas present. I realize now just how much she really ment 2 me.

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*****@nna-Christine*****


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DarkChild717
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Ah, but the posting is never finished.

My Grandmother passed away last night at 11:30 pm. She was surrounded by those who loved her.

My cousin told me after she had passed that she was so excited for me. I'm taking her dream trip to Australia. Now she can come with me.

Her memorial is going to be one week from today. The day before Mother's Day.

Thank you everyone for your kind thoughts and words.


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~jess~
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A close friend just got lung cancer from smoking and to tell you the truth, you dont relize how depressing and how real cancer is until someone you know gets it. since grade school they tell you not to smoke because you can get cancer and untill someone you know gets it you relize how real it is. scary! this person is one of my newphew's (who is two) favorite people so thats sad to whatch her die when hes so young and doesnt know what death is. shes like family to him and im interesting in how hes going to deal with it because she lives next door to them. :'(

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i love matt


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BuddhistDreamer
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My mother's father, and my grandpa, died of melanoma (skin cancer) and it was somewhat expected. He lived in Florida and was always outside, playing golf, being on the beach, just spending his days having fun with his family and friends. I don't think that the possibility of danger ever really occured to him. We would always tease him about not putting on suntan lotion and wearing a hat - he would joke in reply, telling us how resilient he was. Cancer due to failure to protect yourself properly from the sun isn't something taken very seriously...it's not recognized as a deadly disease which kills people every day. If you protect yourself properly, this won't happen, but a lot of people don't know that or are too lazy to take the time to shield themselves. And my grandpa just didn't see the need, and he got the cancer. I loved him dearly, and although I rarely saw him, when I did I realized what a great guy he was. I was young when he died, maybe 6 or 7, but I had already built up a realtionship with him and he was so nice and caring. He helped my Mom out, too, when she had troubles and he was just an all-around wonderful person. It's so sad that something which could be easily prevented had to happen to someone with as big a heart as him.

My 25 year old brother has recently started smoked. He got hooked at a party, where his friends were lighting up as usual. He says that he wasn't thinking and, just once, he decided to join them. The cravings he soon had were unbeatable..now he can't go a day without 5 packs, and sometimes more. The cigarettes have really changed him - suddenly he's leaving the table in the middle of dinner to have a smoke outside. And I know how much he wants to quit, to be healthy, but the nicotine grabbed him and if he keeps smokign this way, he'll die 15 years before he should and we'll lose him, just as we've lost my grandpa. I am a good deal younger than my brother, and I look up to him. Smoking, it just - doesn't fit him. I know that smokers aren't bad people and that they can't help it. But I am so disgusted and shocked when I think about my brother smoking. I try to stop him, because I fear what sometimes seems like the inevitable: he'll get lung cancer. Is it slightly paranoid? Maybe, but to watch someone you love slowly deterioriating because of an addictive drug is one of the hardest things to watch. And if he does get cancer, all I will be able to remember is the time when I could have stopped him but I didn't. I can't change his ways, that's up to him, but I fear that if someone doesn't help him, I'm going to lose him, and I won't be able to bear it.

Cancer - just the word frightens me. And there are so many others that I know who have either been sucked into the disease or are on their way. Cancer is my worst nightmare.

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Lilfran14
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my uncle died of psorosis. its a disease in the liver when you drink to much. ..I miss him very much and understand what some of you are going through.

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~*Katie Frances*~

Why is it that in the
land of the free, home
of the brave, why is it
that i still feel like a
slave.?"

Life is too short..Live it well and with the people you care about.. Don't ever let your work become your life... Go out there and live a little before its too late** Dr. Greene ER


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In The Arms Of An Angel
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Hey everyone, it's me..the girl formerly known as AshleyInABottle, formerly known as StrawberryRed. I would firstly like to say that I am very sorry to anyone hear who has lost a loved one to cancer or who knows someone who is currently battling it.

I thought I'd share my experience.

I have been with my boyfriend for nearly 3 years now..and I think a few people here would probably remember that he was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma (cancer) when he was just 16 years old, with a 90% chance of cure. I helped him battle it then, he beat it and was in remission for an entire year, but had a relapse just last November, at age 18. The doctors said he now has a 70% chance of cure. He began chemotherapy two days after Christmas 2001, and just recently finished it at the end of April. He's 6 foot and 106 pounds because he lost a lot of weight. Anyway, we just found out that he's in remission again, but the doctors are going to give him radiation and even a stem cell transplant. There have been times when I thought I was losing my grip on life and that I couldn't go on. He was always (and still is) so optomistic..but I was so very pessimistic. And then I thought..how could I threaten to take my life when my very best friend is fighting for his own? I'm happy to say I am doing better because he is getting better, and I believe he's going to beat and conquer it for good this time.

But I have another problem.

My mom's best friend (whom we have known for a very long time) has metasticized cancer, and is expected to only have 1-2 *days* left to live. My mother does extremely well with coping, but I still feel some obligation to find a way to help her to get through this or to express my sympathy..yet I have no idea how.


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DarkChild717
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My only suggestion would be to listen. I think that has been the best thing anyone could have done in these last 5 days. There are so many good memories, and when faced with such a thing, it's natural to want to share the memories with people. Who knows. People tend to open up themselves when you are open too. If that made any sense...the memorial is creeping closer. My father is going to be a basket case, especially the day after, aka Mother's Day.

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MPAA Rating: PG for mild peril.


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~jess~
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is it just me but as soon as the doctors say the word, "cancer" you get ill really quickk?

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i love matt
my world


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Moth
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Euph. Cancer is tough. My grandmother died of cancer, and although we weren't very close, we did live together, and it was hard watching her go. I wish you and your family all the best dealing with your grief . ..
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spiritual_anorexia
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My ex girlfriend's mom was diagnosed as having cancer, she never really said what kind. I never understood why Amber (my ex) was so sad... cause I never really loved my mom, there for it wouldn't hurt me too much to loose her. But, I had a dream last night that my other ex girlfriend and also present friend had cancer, and I love her, and if I lost her I would probably kill myself. She's the only person I ever really loved, so i can see why Amber is hurting. She said she was going to kill herself and he tried to last night, she called around 12 and my mom told me today when she got home from work that they put her in the hospital again. I never realized how devistating it is to loose a loved one...I guess I know now.
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~jess~
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well that friend of my sister has less then a month to live, the cancer took over her body. her and her boyfriend are going to get married tomorrow. the person whos doing it isnt going to charge them. its sad shes only 32 i think. :'(

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i love matt
my world


Posts: 278 | From: Oregon | Registered: Dec 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
~jess~
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My sister's neighbor died last week, on the 5th. i saw her through the window on the fourth. earlier my sister went over and talked to her, but we didnt have any idea that it would be her last considering they gave her 1 1/2 year just in April. But the cancer took over her whole body. my sister was at work when she died and as she drove up, they were carring her out in a body bag, she called my mom up crying. we already knew. cancer is a sad thing.

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i love matt
my world


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angelicmadrigal
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Here are some things to remember about cancer.

1. Cancer is not just one disease. It's a type of disease. There are many forms of cancer, some are more treatable than others, and some people are more treatable than others.

2. Cancer is SCARY. It's scary for the perosn who has it, for the family and freinds of the person who is suffering from it, and soetiems it's even scary for people who treat it. Just remember it's alright to be afraid, but don't ever let fear keep someone from taking action.

3. Cancer does not equal death. While people do die of cancer, some recover, especially from less extensive cancer types. Try and keep people as realistically optomistic as can be. They'll find life looks a lot better that way.

4. Don't give up hope when the prognosis is grim. Just because the Dr. says someone has 3 months, does not always mean 3 months of life left. However, cherish the time that IS left no matter how much or little it is.

5. Get educated. the more involved in treatment, and the more you know about the cancer the better everyone will feel.

For those of you that have lost someone to cancer all I can say is "My condolensces". it is very hard to lose someone you love, especially to a cancer. Just remember the love that existed between you both will live on even if that person is gone. Try to remember the good. The loss will always hurt somewhat, and you'll never forget, but everday it will hurt a little less, until the pain and emptiness is at it's lowest point.
And I believe hat no one ever truly is ogne forever, they're still around watching you.


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~jess~
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quote:
Originally posted by angelicmadrigal:
Here are some things to remember about cancer.

1. Cancer is not just one disease. It's a type of disease. There are many forms of cancer, some are more treatable than others, and some people are more treatable than others.


3. Cancer does not equal death. While people do die of cancer, some recover, especially from less extensive cancer types. Try and keep people as realistically optomistic as can be. They'll find life looks a lot better that way.


Have any of you heard of the RELY FOR LIFE? its for people who have survived cancer. what you do is walk for 18 hour straight, here they walk the track. and you raise money to cure cancer. there is also many events that dirfferent teams put on like car washs, yard sales, and raffles. all the profites goes to the american cancer society. There is also a big action.

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my world


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Olive
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Cancer runs in my family and i know eventually i will get it. Im 15 and am at high risk for cervical cancer because of hpv(i think i have it). It's very frightening to me, yesterday i was in my bathroom crying over the thought. But im going to make a doctors app. A.S.A.P. I dont want to be "cleaned out", i want babies. I want to live normally. But I need to stand strong, all of us do. We need to realize that this topic is much more common than we wish, even if it is a difficult one.
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Sallynha
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well i felt i'd post here.

i lost my grandmother (on my father's side) in September 96, just as i'd started that school year. she had cancer on her bones, but she didn't really die from it. in fact, she had just been put of treatment for the cancer when she died. only the pills she was taking (chemotherapy) were too strong, and having a week heart already, one day it didn't take it and she ended up having something going wrong with her heart and she died all of a sudden during one night. it was very unexpected, since she was getting well from her cancer, and all my familly was kinda shocked. i felt bad about it, but wasn't all that depressed and everything, only because i'd always felt that grandmother didn't like me much, compared to my sister.

no my grandfather (her husband) was diagnosed with prostate carcinoma (malignant prostate cancer) about 2 weeks ago. despite the fact that he is a doctor (retired), he didn't do any checkups since he was 40 years old (he's now 79), so he only went to the doctors when he had urine retention. his prostate is very big, and had already slightly damaged his kidney. his cancer is too big and can't be removed, and he's now on medication to make it decrease its size so in 3 months they'll do exams and check if it's possible to go through cirurgy.

although i'd never gotten along with his former wife, this is my "favourite" grandparent, because we have always lived nearer him/them, and he played an important role in my upbringing, and is almost like a role model for me. my knowledge and my brightness and everything i know now, is almost only due to him. my parents always had jobs and never did help me with school or teach me to study and do other things, so this grandfather is almost a second father to me (as a grandfather should be, i assume).

i understand about what someone said about learning about the disease and feeling better about it. when i first knew my grandfather had cancer, i was drowned in depression, i didn't eat etc... i was shocked because it was quite sudden. i then began to search on the internet and i read a lot about it. the next day i was telling my mother the most common places the cancer could spread to, and ways to treat it, and she was amazed on how much i knew.

so it turns out it is a very common kind of cancer for men over 70. and it is very treatable too (that is, if it isn't too big - which is the case).
the most common places for methasthisis (sp?) are the bones near the protaste, and if that happens, it will lead to difficult locomotion and movement.

i know my grandad is on hormone therapy now, and i heard something about him going on radiotherapy, depending on the result of an exam he did. i hope he does goe on radiotherapy, because i read that hormonetherapy will not cure, and radiotherapy can cure.

i also heard my father (who is also a doctor) talking on the phone with a colleague, and saying that he was 80 already, that they couldn't expect him to live that much longer, and that some doctors thought it wasn't worth to do radiotherapy because of that.

my father keeps everything in secret so my grandfather doesn't find out details of his illness (he only knows he has prostate cancer, i don't know the extent of his knowledge about the state of the cancer...), so we are a bit clueless as for what he is doing now and what are the prognosis, etc.

my father is also feeling very guilty for not checking on my grandad so he would do regular exams so they could find it in an earlier stage... we are all a bit uncertain of the future now, i gues... but my grandfather is one of those people everyone in my circle of friends, and in my parents' circle of friends knows, and likes, and invites for events, all that kind of stuff - even not being his age. which is something i admire and think is a good clue as how much he will be missed... be it's better to be prepared for the worse, it should hurt less - i hope.

i'm also sorry for writing so much here, but i was really in need of letting all this out, i don't like to take my friends time to talk about this, because i know it's something that gets into people and puts them down, and then they don't know what to say, and it's best if less people around me know of the evolution of things so less people will suffer. but it was good to have this space to write my feelings

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~Sallynha
me shell him

ICQ# 123898306


Posts: 390 | From: * my own little shell * | Registered: Jun 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
WinterMoon
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My mother died of cancer when I was 11. She had late-diagnosis bowel cancer which was successfully removed in theatre in 1992, with two secondary tumors in her liver. When scans discovered these, she was given a few months more to live.

The tumors were inoperable, so Oncology installed a port in her body into which they'd inject chemotherapy periodically, which would then distribute the chemotherapy to the tumors on her liver. Unfortunately, she was a bit of an anatomical anomaly, my mum.
Most people have a vein that enters the liver and then splits in two to service the left and right lobes of the organ. Oncology assumed this when they installed her port, and fed the port into this vein. However, my mothers vein split in two before it entered the liver and consequently, the chemotherapy only reached the right lobe of her liver, and the tumor on the left thrived and grew.
She became jaundiced, and her previously fair skin went an ugly shade of yellow. Turns out that the left tumor was pressing on her bile duct and blocking it, so Oncology had to then install a hepatic stent to externally drain the bile from her body through a catheter and into a bag she would wear at her side.

A District Nurse would come to visit her every two days to change the drainage bag and clean the area around where the catheter exited her body. I remember it looking like a raw, open wound. It would hurt her everytime someone touched the catheter, and so the nurse would have to be very careful when removing the wafer and the bag. The wafer was a big square sticky thing with a round hole in the middle that the catheter went through. The drainage bag would then snap onto the wafer using a tongue and groove system. A couple of times, the bag and wafer needed to be changed more frequently then every two days, and those were the occasions when I, as an 11 year old child, had to do it. I had to lay my mother on her bed with blueys all around her, and gently pry the bag off the wafer, and then use an alcohol swab to dissolve the adhesive on the wafer so it would come off without hurting her and then clean around the wound and clean the catheter without jarring it, and then place a new wafer on, and gently attatch a new bag.

She was so skinny, the cancer had eaten away at her and she was skin and bone. It was mid June and I'd just had an appendectomy operation, and she got me to take more time than necessary off school for my recovery so I could look after her, help her shower and dress, prepare her meals and help her eat. She was next to incapable of living on her own during the day while my younger sister and I were at school and Dad was at work.

Eventually, one of the neighbours decided that I should be at school, and started coming over every day to help. Her sisters and parents started visiting more often in this time as well.

One day my sister and I came home from school, and my grandparents and aunts were sitting in the house looking glum, and they told us Mum had been taken to the hospital in an ambulance. We went to see her and she looked okay, but apparently had been hit with a bad case of the shakes and the GP decided she should go to the hospital.

While she was in the hospital, she needed lots of blood transfusions (and also in the three years since her diagnosis), but because she had such a rare blood type, they could never find blood for her. I had the same blood type, and it used to annoy me so much because I couldn't donate my blood to her because I was just a child.

She stayed in the hospital for a long time. One day in August 1995 my Dad, sister and I went to visit her, and she was so sick. Her skin was yellow and looked so strange against the sterile whiteness of the hospital room. She struggled to speak, but made sure that my Dad knew exactly what kind of taps and tiles to get for the bathroom we were renovating at the time. We arranged to come and visit her tomorrow on the way to the football, and I said "Okay, see you tomorrow Mum."

The next day, my 8 year old sister and I were watching the Sunday cartoons, when my Dad stumbled into the kitchen, a bit bleary eyed. "Girls," he said, "Trish from the hospital just rang. Your Mum died this morning."
I remember looking at him, thinking "What, Trish?" because my mother's name is also Trish. I almost wanted to laugh out loud. But I didn't. It took about 30 seconds for my brain to process everything. And then I cried. I also remember thinking that day "I guess this means we won't be able to go to the football." I remember it was going to be a Carlton vs Footscray game, and my Dad and I barrack for Carlton.

It started raining the day she died. August 6th, 1995. It rained heavily for three days straight. And on August 9th, 1995, just as we laid her to rest in the ground, the rain stopped and the sun came out. She always wanted to be buried on the side of the cemetery where the afternoon sun shone.

A series of unforseen and unchangeable events conspired to kill my mother. From her late diagnosis, to her rare blood type, to the unusual construction of the veins servicing her liver, to the constant difficulties with her stent and her chemo port. If she hadn't been such a medical anomaly, she'd probably still be with us today. But its no good sitting around with the If's. Especially when they're If's you can't influence. No-one could have known that Mum's veins were different. That's a one in a million. It's just a mistake, and you move on.

There's one song that reminds me of her. It's Yellow, by Coldplay. I don't know if it was written about someone with liver disease or jaundice or not, but the imagery always makes me think of her.

I swam across; I jumped across for you
Oh what a thing to do
'Cos you were all yellow

And your skin, oh yeah your skin and bones
Turn into something beautiful
D'you know?
For you I'd bleed myself dry
For you I'd bleed myself dry

Look at the stars
Look how they shine for you
And all the things that you do

In loving memory of
Patricia Anne
5/9/1950 - 6/8/1995

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Shannon Hamilton: You wanna say something?
Brodie: Yeah! About a million things, but I can't express myself monosyllabically enough for you to understand it all.
-Mallrats


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Breezy119
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Well, I have actually been avoiding writing this for the past couple days, since I saw this was a topic... But I think it would help me alot to get my story out...

My great grandmother, AKA, my Mema was diagnosed with cancer when I was 10. I don't even know what kind of cancer it was. I was on vacation when it happened, and my aunt told me about it. I cried a little. I returned home the next day.

I visited my Mema in the hospital and she wasn't herself. She was kind of bitter, towards everyone, and I remember being mad at her. I couldn't help it at the time. She just wasn't acting like herself. Now when I think back to it, I feel terrible because if I was in that situation, having cancer and knowing I was going to die, I'd be bitter too! Who wouldn't be, you know? I will always regret being angry with her...

She spent a few days in the hospital. Then she got to come home.

She lived with my grandparents, my Nana was her oldest daughter. She had a room downstairs, but my aunt and I fixed up the upstairs guest room for her because it was right next to my grandparents room, so in case something happened, they'd be close by.

By the time she got home, she was acting like her old self again. My nana was trying to get her to write her will, but my Mema didn't have much planned for anyone. She just said, whoever needs something, give it to them. If someone really wants something, they can have it. Anything else, give to charity. She was always such a selfless person.

After about a week or so, the cancer started to hit her hard, and the medication did too. It wasn't long before she didn't recognize us anymore. That really hurt, and as you can imagine, me being only 10, I didn't quite understand at the time, the severity of her condition.

I remember the night she passed away so well... There were tons of people here. My Mema had just told my nana she saw her husband and son, both of which had died years ago. So we knew it was time. She was seeing angels, and I guess they were telling her to go with them. Everyone told her it was okay to go. Everyone but my nana. My nana was always so close to her mother, and just couldn't bear to let her go.

We all stood around Mema and prayed. I don't even remember exactly what we prayed or who was there or anything, but I remember we prayed. Her little room was filled with people.

I made her a picture with her name on it, and it had butterflies all over it because she loved them so much.

I went home because I had school the next day. She passed away at about 10 PM that night. Right after my nana told her it was okay to go. My Mema hung in there as long as she could.

My mom told me that morning that she was gone. I cried a little. I cried on my way to school. But I didn't cry a whole lot.

We left the next week to New Mexico, where her funeral would be. I remember my first thought when we got there was how I wanted to go play in the hotel pool.

It wasn't until we went to the viewing of her body that it really hit me. She was gone. My nana did her hair and make-up and it just didn't even look like my Mema anymore. Mema NEVER wore that much makeup. As soon as I saw her, I cried. I cried so hard.

The next day was her funeral. I cried when they carried her away. I think what really got to me though, was seeing my family cry. Grown men crying. The strongest people I knew, crying.

We went to the cemetary, and as they lowered her into the ground, I think that was the most I had cried during the whole ordeal. I wasn't ready to let her go. She couldn't leave me yet.

It's been almost 5 years, and there is not a day that goes by that I dont think of my Mema. I still cry. Whenever something happens, I think of her. She was the backbone of our family. Everyone she knew, loved her dearly. I miss her a lot.


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CaLiBaBe207
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I really feel for all of u that lost someone....

My grandfather was diagnosed with lung cancer when i was about 7.....and my mom started telling me about it and what happens to a lot of people that get it and i remember starting to cry....i was really close to my grandfather cause i stayed with my grandparents everyday when my mom and dad where at work.

I would always sit on his lap everyday when we ate breakfast and if he would take a nap during the day...i would always sleep next to him....

After he was diagnosed, he was sleeping a lot more and i would always put my stuffed animals with him and put stickers on his head and i would be with him when i could.

He had like 2 surgerys and it came back....so the doctor said he had 6 monthes to live.....and i was crushed....i remember me and my mom and grandma and aunt and they were just standing there hugging in the hospital and i was sitting there looking at the floor cause i heard what the doctor said....

Well this is almost 8 years later and he is still here.....and to this day...he still says im the one that kept him alive...by always coming in his room with my stuffed animals and stickers....

and i thank god he is still here....and to all of u how lost someone to this disease....
i am very sorry for ur loss....

thanx for letting me share my story....



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Insane
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Thank you guys for sharing your stories. You have reminded me of a very important lesson-live each and every day to the fullest. thank you
Posts: 234 | From: Ottawa, Ont, Canada | Registered: Mar 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
*Lovely Lucy*
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My grandmother practically raised me along with my parents, and so we are very close. She is the sweetest most awesome person ever who is a friend to everyone and has just lived the perfect christian life and she is just someone who you would never EVER want to see hurt. This past year she was diagnosed with bone cancer and that is the one known to be one of the most painful ever. she has been in great pain and I just hate to see her like that. shes about 5'1'' and only weighs 80 pounds. her bones are so weak that she has a fracture on her neck now and oh my gosh im just so sad. She originally had breast cancer about 6 or 7 years ago, she had it removed and so we thougth thaat it was gone. but i guess it came back and they say taht a lot of times it comes back in another form ~~like bone cancer. i just dont want to lose her. i really really really dont. we just lost my other grandmother. really suddenly. and we cant take another death. my parents arent very strong either. like when my dad accidentally killed my cat about a year ago the next day he was so worked up over it that he had a seizure. and when my mom talks about my grandma with bone cancer she starts to cry and oh my gosh i just hate this. i am so mad that things like this can happen.
how long does it take for you to get through the death of someone? like a year or forever or ugh i dont kno.
and is cancer also like a tumor. because i heard my dad talking on the phone to my mom saying yes, shes having pain there, and she was wondering if it was the tumor or the fracture. so does this mean that she has a tumor too?
Your Sadly Sad
Lucy

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*Lovely Lucy*


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EversBoo15
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My Grand pa Died of cancer This mornig a 4:00. I found out about it not to long ago. I was so close to him and he gone..And I cried cried cried, I didn't get to see him or saY goodbye ...But hey what do they say they went to a better place. I haven't seen him since 2002 and I want to see him before he past away.

Word of wisdom: You never know when your gonna died so live life to the FULLEST

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Puerto Rican O.o o.O always spaced out 0.o o.0 Puerto Rican Donde esta corazon??


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