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Author Topic: The loss of a friend...?
XxFIFxX
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Member # 2109

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My best friend moved away about 8 months ago and that put a strain on the friendship, but we seemed to pull it off okay. I'm not a prude or anything, but when she started getting into drugs I started getting worried. She'd sleep around a lot, get drunk off her *** , and not remember too much. When she started taking cocaine, that's where i drew the line. I finally told her how i felt about everything. I told her that I cared about her, but she needed to take a step back and look at what she was doing. I emailed this to her, and she never responded. My friends are telling me I did the right thing and that I had no other choice. My boyfriend, on the other hand, says that I should apologize but not necesarily take back what i said. I don't think I need to apologize for anything, but I don't want to lose her as a friend. But what is our friendship? Nothing really. Who she is now is not who I knew. So I did the right thing, right?

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*I wish I didn't care, but I do*


Posts: 62 | From: Los Angeles, CA USA | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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i think you did the right thing. however, people don't take too well to preaching, and in a lot of times, they are blind to their own wrongdoing. they may know deep down that it's wrong and that they are harming themselves, but they will find ways to justify their actions.

i applaud you for caring about your friend. that is true friendship. but for now, you can only hope she listens and sees how her reckless behavior is harming her. hindsight is 20/20. hang in there. you owe no apologies.

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Someday, I will have a sexy car...a very...sexy...car!


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lin
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I think you did what you could. You owe nobody an apology. If I was in your shoes, I would do the same thing.

If she chooses not to respond to your email, there is nothing you can do. I know you care about her but at the end of the day, it is her life.

Just be there for her and hopefully one day she will realise how much you care.


Posts: 2294 | From: Singapore | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
lilnerd
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You have nothing to apologize for. You did the right thing. Unfortunatley, people change, and when they get into a habit of using drugs like cocaine they will often think you are not being a friend by preaching to them what is wrong and right. This happened to me a couple years back, and needless to say I am no longer in contact with this girl. Don't worry about what you did, you handled yourself well.
Posts: 543 | From: NY | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Voostra
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I went through a similar situation a while ago (though the person didn;t go so far as cocaine..) I saw how hard it is for people to see what people are doing to themselves is bad, and it's especially hard when you care for that person very much. In the end I just had to wait until they got through it and figgured it out themselves. Some of them have, and some of them haven't. C'est la vie. You don't owe thm any apologies, you did the best thing in telling them. There (IMHO) has to be some point where if they are your friend, you are gonna tell them what they are doing to themselves, and how you think about it.
Posts: 32 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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