posted
I'm not sure if this is the best place on the message board to post this topic, but I'm really interested in hearing what other people have to say about it.
How do you think roommates, relatives, or significant others who share living space should navigate having overnight guests?
-Should consent of all roommates be clearly sought and received before a guest (male, female, or otherwise) is invited to spend the night?
-Does it make a difference whether the guest sleeps in the living room or the bedroom? Whether bedrooms are shared or individual?
-Is it a right or a privilege to have an overnight guest of any sort (sexual partner, significant other, relative... etc. )when one shares living space with roommates?
-------------------- "That is not dead which can eternal lie / And with strange aeons even death may die."
posted
I live with housemates, and we aren't really friends, and I'm of the stance that it's my room, that I pay for, and as long as we spend most of our time in my room rather than crowd the kitchen or hallway, or make noise in the bedroom or a mess or something in the house then it shouldn't be a problem. I'd say it was a right. It's very lonely living without any friends or anyone you love, and having someone there can be an important part of self-care.
However, if the bedroom was shared with a roommate or sibling, that would be a very different story. Things like consent would be fully need and boundaries discussed, you may even have to arrange that you roomate would stay somewhere else for a night if they were not comfortable.
With someone sleeping in a shared living room, again you would need to give them a heads up or agin consent as that space is shared rather than individual.
We must always take sides. Neutrality helps the oppressor, never the victim. Silence encourages the tormentor, never the tormented. - Elie Wiesel Posts: 1231 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010
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posted
I agree with RaeRay. In my experience living with roommates I've never really asked them if someone was staying the night in my bedroom. But if I was planning on a party or friends over staying up late and making noise, then I would ask first. And when my dad was staying over for a few days and sleeping in the living room, I would ask first, because that is a shared space.
I also agree if the bedroom is shared, then that is different, because then it isn't only YOUR space but a shared space.
Of course, your actual roommates may have totally different opinions. I would recommend discussing things like this with them. Before I lived with roomies I usually had a conversation about how much noise was acceptable past what time, and how they felt about house guests, etc.
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I never am really satisfied that I understand anything; because, understand it well as I may, my comprehension can only be an infinitesimal fraction of all I want to understand. - Ada Lovelace Posts: 819 | From: Seattle | Registered: Apr 2009
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posted
Thanks for the replies! I've never had my own bedroom, but I think what you've both said makes a lot of sense.
I share a one-bedroom apartment with two other girls right now, and this is a contentious issue among us. I'm not sure I really want to get into it right now before class, but I'll try to explain later.
-------------------- "That is not dead which can eternal lie / And with strange aeons even death may die."
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