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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Another Sex Ed GRR

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Author Topic: Another Sex Ed GRR
Irm
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Wow, I'm just Start-a-Bunch-of-New-Topics girl today, but this just put the wrath of Kali in me.

I was talking with my friend Beth over some iced mocha today, and she actually took the "health" class that our school offered. She said that they brought in a lady for the "sex ed" portion of it to fill them in.

I of course immediately got bitter and mumbled something about how the class used scare tactics to frighten young girls away from their own reproductive systems (I've covered some of that in a previous post here), but Beth insisted, "No no, not at all. See, after they did the STD thing--"

I interrupted, "The STD thing?", pretty surprized that they actually went there.

"Well yeah."

"They actually taught you about STDs?"

"Well, they taught us about all the different STDs we could catch, and showed us pictures of them."

"Uh huh. And did they teach you, along with these graphic photographs, how to PROTECT yourself from these STDs?"

"Well... no..."

"So they didn't discuss contraceptives? They didn't show you how to use a condom?"

"Well, they said to use a condom, but abstinence is the best thing, blah blah blah."

"Did they show you how to use one?"

"No, they're not allowed to talk about that."

"Do you KNOW how to use one?"

"Um, well yeah."

"How?"

"Uhhh..."

Ok, so, they scare the kids with a bunch of graphic photos of all the gruesome diseases they can get if they have sex. What was the message they preeched ABOUT having sex, anyhow?

"She used this really neat example," Beth informed me, "with tape and stuff."

"Tape?"

"Yeah... It was pretty nifty. She took this regular piece of tape, right? And then this other piece of tape. And then she stuck them together. And she said, 'See, here is what happens with your first sexual partner. The tape is all clean and fresh, and it sticks nicely to the other piece of tape. Right? Now see what happens if you break up with this person, and go have another partner...' And she took the tape off and she stuck it on somebody's hand. 'And then another partner, and another-' And she kept sticking the tape on various people's hands, and when she tried to put it back with the original piece of tape, it wouldn't stick anymore. 'See? Now the tape is all dirty and ruined, and it can't stick to anything anymore, just like you can't stick to people anymore if you have that many partners.'"

SEETHE. [Mad]

[ 05-04-2006, 08:39 PM: Message edited by: RedGoddess ]

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origami_jane
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What is it with these funky "sex ed" classes and their school supply metaphors? First the sheet of paper, now the tape? What's next?

"Now children.... Imagine that this pencil is you with your first sexual partner. After you have a relationship for a while *writes with pencil* you might get a new sexual partner *sharpens pencil, writes more* and then you have to have another one.... *sharpens/writes until pencil is a stub* See? Look what happens... if you have sex before marriage, you'll be ripped apart by the spinning steel blades of an electric sharpener."

Anyway, that's ridiculous. People aren't pieces of tape that get progressively "less sticky" as life goes on... if anything, having experience with relationships makes one a stronger person in general. So I guess it makes you... more sticky?

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-Lauren-
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Perfect topic to add this to, I hope.

My boyfriend told me that in sex-ed in his high school, the contraception portion was actually very well-taught. They brought in a woman from Planned Parenthood who was very cool.

The problem came when the teacher talked about teen pregnancy. The teacher basically shouted that any girl who gets pregnant "WILL get an abortion; you're too young!". To add on to that, he played a video tape that showed the horrible pregnancy of a young American teenager, and proceeded to show her giving birth in the family bath tub.

I just thought something's not quite right with THAT either, is all.

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Alice
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*Shudders*

What makes people think THAT is the way to steer a kid in the right direction? I went to a private Christian school in middle school (which was supposed to put me on the straight and narrow - HA) and the only thing they told us about sex was that it was WRONG. In fact, the teacher was pretty intense, and somehow he managed it to where the class was dead-silent, and for about 5 minutes he stared down every sing student in the class and said that if you even THINK about having sex before you're married, literally THINK about it, then you are committing a sin that is JUST AS BAD as actually doing the deed.

Fortunately, being the savvy 7th grader, I proceeded to crack up laughing and fall off my chair. I was then told that the teacher's and holy students were praying for my soul.

I wish people would just live and let live.

[ 05-05-2006, 12:08 AM: Message edited by: Alice ]

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Heather
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Wow, that tape trick would be awesome for demonstrating what happens to your credibility when you cover it with propaganda!

(And the school-supply stuff? It's likely budgetary. When you teach in most schools, you do anything you can to use the supplies readily available to you.)

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Rumored
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Funny thing. I'm a virgin. But reading about people encouraging abstinance makes me want to go out and find a hot person with a nice car and just have sex or the sake of sex. Obviously, I'm not going to do this, or I would have by now (I've heard and read LOTS of abstinence-talk), but does anyone else have that urge?

It's pretty obvious that the reason the tape didn't stick to its original partner is because it no longer needed to cling. It had taken the best out of its relationships and realized that it was a complete person, and that other peices of tape were also whole people, and they didn't need to *stick* together to ~be~ together.

Or maybe it was just upset that the other peice of tape never found its clitoris and neither of them had learned how to discuss these things in, I don't know, some sort of sex ed class?

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magpie
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Just to add my little bit...

My heath teacher in high school was amazing. She did everything she could within the confines of what the school board would let her. We did learn about condoms, and put them on our fingers with lube and all. We even played a crazy little game where everyone had a step of intercourse (you know, first comes arousal, etc.) and we had to put them in the right order.

However... As I was working on a research paper (about sex ed) a couple years back, I interviewed my health teacher. I found out she wanted to buy a dildo to use for the condom demonstration, since you're a lot more likely to put a condom on a penis than your fingers, but the school board said no. Here's what bugged me the most. She had a great list of contraceptive options put together, include cost, availability, pros, cons, and effectiveness. The school board wouldn't let her pass them out.

Don't these people get it? People who've decided not to have sex aren't going to be persuaded by knowing that contraceptives exist! And people who are going to have sex are going to do it no matter how many times they're told how great abstinence is!

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ax50607
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coming out of my school system's sex ed... my boyfriend didnt even know that condoms protected against std's. or that a girl's period lasts more than a day... or well, anything. we had separate sex ed classes for the boys and the girls, and from what i gather the boys' was much more poorly done. he said they spent most of their time watching videos about rape.

i learned more during the 30 minute presentation at orientation my freshman year of college than i ever did in my local public school system

[ 05-06-2006, 10:54 AM: Message edited by: ax50607 ]

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PenguinBoy
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has anyone done the cups with water, std demonstration? I love it it's well cool, everyone has a cup of water, and one random person has a colourless chemical.

Then everyone is given role cards like
"you do not have sex until you are married, but pretty soon you get bored and go to see a prostiture" or,
"you have lots of sex before marriage but then you settle down and are faithfull"
"you are a prostitute and have sex with anyone who pays up"

Then to have sex, you just poor some water back and forth between the cup.

at the end when everyone has carried out their role, an indicater is dropped into the cups and the colour changes showing that everyone has been infected.

We were taught by students 2 years above how to put condoms onto our fingers, then we blew them up and drew faces on them. we didn't even get bannanas.

A school near me gave away free condoms. that's what i wanted... didn't get it though. Girls oftern had seperate assemblys and got free stuff. Like tampons and stuff.

Like just last week all girls got given rape alarms in a general studies lesson. FSFB- Free Stuff For Boys. There really should be some kinda boy pack, with all the info needed and lil random freebies to engage people. It's always the girls that are portrayed as being the vunerable party. And from what i've seen, not much notice is given in sex ed to lads who are unconfortable and nervous about their sexualities(usually hidden by macho-ness).

Bad information can be so dangerous, and it really skews reality. My dad didn't even know what a period was or that even such such a thing existed until he was married. It's a strange world.

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dailicious
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Ugh, the cup demonstration is also pretty much a joke- I remember doing it in middle school (and basically, it was a similar scenario as you described, and you could either "have sex" or share drug needles, which was a more realistic example of not doing drugs, but looking back on it- it basically went on the guide of "Ever person you have sex with" rather than teaching safer sex along with the demonstration)... while it certainly holds truth if you're having unprotected sexual activity with every person you're ever sexually active with and don't take strides to get yourself annual sexual health care, etc. it's fairly unrealistic as far as living a safer sexual life.

My favorite part about where I grew up is that when we started dating, my boyfriend knew how to put on a condom perfectly... where did he learn?

His youth group at church. [Smile]

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DarkChild717
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Oddly enough I got that example in sixth grade. Everyone was given a card with a number (1-5), and you had to share drops with that many people. Me and one other person were given 0.

My friends and I joked that it taught us that the way to cure AIDS was to pour out the water.

Fortunately, my sex ed was better in Middle School and High School. A lot of question and answer sessions, and I don't recall any abstience stuff. Then again, I was here during that time...

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Lindz
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My schoool was incredible, and al the things you guys said that your sex educators missed out was covered with me. My teacher went through all the different contracepties, how effective they were, showed us almost ALL of them, explained how to use them, showed us prices and EVERYTHING. We even had a wooden penis to have as a demonstation of how to put the condom on (provided by the condom company when the school asked for condoms for the class). We weren't TOLD to be ABSTINENT, we were just informed on all different affects of al lthe contraceptives. We were ocmpletly informed on STDs/STIs and what each one was and what was treatable and what was not. I am appalled to hear that school board in other places don't allow all this stuff. Obviously abstinence was repeated enough to let us know that if we dont' want the risk of these things then we should keep abstinenet and that if we choose to have intercourse or any other form of sex, it's always possible to reobtain your abstinence. But My teacher explain it in a way that didnt' make us feel like we were forced to be abstinent. She made us feel that she UNDERSTOOD that not everyone stays abstinent. Intead of sitting on that topic, she focused on the fact hat if we aren't abstinent, how to make us be the safest.

Sorry if Irepeated myself a bit... [Smile]

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Paradoxical Enigma
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Well, my form of sex ed was kind of so-so. We weren't force-fed misleading or incomplete information or abstainance-only propoganda (as a matter of fact, our school is one of the better ones in our area in regard to these things. We're the only one with a group for teen parents, and they even came in at one point in the class). We were told about a myriad of contraceptive methods (without leaving out abstainance/celibacy, of course), but not informed particularly well on how to use them. STD's and the ins and outs of pregnancy, including teen pregnancy (and the cost thereof) were well covered. Still, it was only part of a much larger health class, and that entire health class only lasted one semester. I think maybe there could have been more done, but I'm still grateful for what WAS done.

I really think that, regardless of what you may think of it, encouraging only abstainance and neglecting everything else is just ineffective. Even if you don't believe in contraception or whatever, it's better than having the people who will have sex either way be foolish and have careless unprotected sex.

As a side note, I completely agree about the "equal attention to guys" thing someone mentioned earlier. All too often, females are targeted over males as the ones who need sex-related help and guidance. I won't deny they have issues such as cycles and pregnancy and higher chance of rape which are not present for guys, but fact is that guys have issues too, and some, such as feeling like they have to be the strong ones and hide their inner feelings or that they have to "perform" or be responsible for BOTH partners' satisfaction, that are uniquely theirs. The problem is, issues which are nonphysical are often not to well covered, and males have more emotional issues as opposed to the greater physical issues of women (not to say that women don't have plenty of emotional issues as well).

[ 05-07-2006, 04:46 PM: Message edited by: Paradoxical Enigma ]

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Irm
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Hm, interesting what a wide variety of sex-ed stories are presented in this post. Perhaps a mod should put up a poll about it, making sure to ask location, public/private/religious school, and such and such, asking exactly what was and was not covered in our individual programs.

[ 05-07-2006, 09:50 PM: Message edited by: RedGoddess ]

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ax50607
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quote:


I really think that, regardless of what you may think of it, encouraging only abstainance and neglecting everything else is just ineffective. Even if you don't believe in contraception or whatever, it's better than having the people who will have sex either way be foolish and have careless unprotected sex.

[/QB]

agreed. even if everyone DID wait until marriage or whatever before having sex, they would still need to know all of this information for when they are married. its not as though marriage is some magical institution that protects one from std's and unwanted pregnancy. so it just makes no sense.

or are we not supposed to ever have sex? all of these "abstinence messages" confuse me

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