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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Age restrictions and what not

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Author Topic: Age restrictions and what not
GlitterFly
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Member # 11102

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Around where I live, the earliest you can get married is 14. But in order to view something of a "adult" nature, whether art or porn, like in most places you have to be 18.
I personally don't get that.
I could be married with kids by now, but I still can't look at anything vaguely erotic.
It's a real downer, mostly because I was thinking about getting something from Toys in Babeland, but no. I can't legally enter the site unless I'm 18. Grrr. I'm a little angry about this.

Posts: 5 | From: New York, US of A | Registered: Dec 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Bobolink
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Sometimes these laws leave us scratching our collective heads in wonder. Age of Consent laws vary from state to state and country to country with little logical relation. Nevertheless, Scarleteen cannot condone illegal acts including violating Age of Consent or underage drinking laws.

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We can't solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.

- Albert Einstein

[This message has been edited by Bobolink (edited 04-21-2003).]


Posts: 3442 | From: Stirling, Ontario, Canada | Registered: Sep 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Use that anger to be an activist.

I agree, there is a lot of hypocrisy in a lot of age-based laws, and I certainly agree that it's more than a little ludicrous to state someone is ready for marriage before they're ready to use a vibrator.

So, how about you do like some of us do and get active? Write an op-ed piece and send it to your local paper or school paper. Write your state representatives.

Being annoyed and pissed off only gets one so far: but getting active furthers change.

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Heather Corinna
Editor and Founder, Scarleteen

My epitaph should read: "She worked herself into this ground."
-- Kay Bailey Hutchinson


Posts: 68006 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ReviewerOfTime
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quote:
Originally posted by Miz Scarlet:
Use that anger to be an activist.

I agree, there is a lot of hypocrisy in a lot of age-based laws, and I certainly agree that it's more than a little ludicrous to state someone is ready for marriage before they're ready to use a vibrator.

So, how about you do like some of us do and get active? Write an op-ed piece and send it to your local paper or school paper. Write your state representatives.

Being annoyed and pissed off only gets one so far: but getting active furthers change.


A period of intense thinking before becoming active does help to strengthen such a movement. Sharing one's opinions with others and seeing others' reactions to them may be a step in preparing to become active.


Posts: 2 | From: United States of America | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Aileen_Asphodel
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In my home state, the age of sexual consent is 14, but it my boyfriend's (we met on a forum), it is 17. We're both old enough in my state; but not quite in his-- and it's horrible! We're both sexually mature, and we're old enough to use contraception-- we're monogamous and have even had tests to know that we're healthy, yet it would be illegal for us to have sex. And personally, I don't think that that's right. Laws should exist to protect people, not to enfringe upon privacy. I also don't feel that 18 should be the legal age for viewing erotica and so on-- what's so damned magical about 18, anyway?! Besides, there's plenty of stuff on Saturday morning cartoons that could offend most mature adults. I really think that a lot of it's hypocrisy.
Posts: 14 | From: Williamsport, PA, USA | Registered: May 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Gumdrop Girl
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quote:
Originally posted by Aileen_Asphodel:
...yet it would be illegal for us to have sex. And personally, I don't think that that's right. Laws should exist to protect people, not to enfringe upon privacy.

the interesting here is that the age of consent law is in place to protect people. there are too many people out there with the potential and intent to exploit naive young people, and without that AoC law, there's not much else in place to prosecuate those who haveill-intentions. Unfortunately, it does infringe on your relationship with your boyfriend, but because the benefit (stopping people who prey on kids) outweighs the costs (sane young people engaging in consensual sex), the AoC laws stay in place.

If you feel the inconvenience placed on your relationship is truly greater than the threat to children, then it's time to lobby your politician.

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May suffering and pestilence befall the %$@! who broke into my car.


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lee
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The age of consent laws were never written to criminalize normal healthy relationships between young people. These laws are generally very old, written during a time when many girls were married by the age of 15 or 16.

The intent of these laws has always been to prevent young women from being taken advantage of by older men. The written part generally stated that it was illegal to have sex with a girl below a certain arbitrary age who was not your wife. The unwritten part of this law was that if you and she were peers and were romantically involved then nothing much would be done about it, at least not in the courts. If worst came to worst and the girl wound up pregnant, the young couple would get married at which point their having sex would no longer be seen as a problem.

Unfortunately these laws are now being reinterpreted in many places in such a way that normal consensual sex, even sex based upon love, is persecuted by the state if the lovers are below an arbitrary age. The psychobabblers have even gotten in on the action and are labeling such relationships as abnormal or even abusive, with the victim/perpetrators being in need of counselling, aka brainwashing. The cocoon-like environment, where everything is safe and nothing bad ever happens, that many misguided parents try to create only contributes to this problem with young adults being wholly unprepared to live independently. It is one of the reasons why so many 20-somethings are pathetically still living with and being supported by their parents. Unless someone is a full-time student then there just aren't many excuses for that. At the turn of the century girls of 16 were married because back then they were grown and could handle adult responsibilities. Child rearing in those days was about preparing the child for those responsibilities instead of "protecting" them everything. When I have children the only things they will be protected from are those things that will kill them or significantly harm them in a real way. That which does not kill them will only make them stronger in the long run and better able to deal with adversity in life.

As rigid and dogmatic as traditional sexual morals were in this country, at least people in our grandparents and great-grandparents generation understood that lust was natural, they may have thought it sinful, but they didn't try to lock teenagers up for acting on it and they didn't wrap up their anxiety over it in a bunch of pseudo-scientific BS.

Luckily in some places the age of consent laws are specifically written to protect consensual sex where both people are below whatever arbitrary age has been set. I can't give you a list of what the laws are like in ever state, but I'd recommend that everyone find out what they are where you live, and find out what the case law is like in your state as well.

Lee


Posts: 175 | From: Tempe, AZ USA | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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(Just as a sidenote, the actual origin of the current AOC laws was not to "protect young girls from older men" but to protect children of all genders from child prostitution, atv a time when laws for that specifically were not in place and when families were so poor in the UK that it was not uncommon for parents to have their children work the streets of England.)
Posts: 68006 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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quote:
Originally posted by Lee:
It is one of the reasons why so many 20-somethings are pathetically still living with and being supported by their parents. Unless someone is a full-time student then there just aren't many excuses for that.

Actually there are many valid reasons to continue to live with family but that's neither here nor there. As per the guidelines please be respectful when posting -- calling others pathetic is unnecessary.


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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