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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Sexual Ethics and Politics » Playing it Safe

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Author Topic: Playing it Safe
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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What does safer sex mean to you? Usuing a condom? For what acts? Getting tested regularly? Staying mongamous? Everyone seems to have a different bell curve. Give it up and talk about what YOU do, what you'd like to do, and what just isn't working for you.
Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Mophead
Activist
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Well, I guess I'd have to say using a condom to protect against STIs. It's surprising how many people don't. Also, not slamming like a maniac when having anal sex. And phone sex is always safe for a couple.
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Pillow Angel
Neophyte
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Hehe. Well to me safer sex means always using protection for everything, such as condoms and the pill. It also means getting tested whenever you are feeling a little strange and you know there could be a possibility of having an STD or being pregnant and regular annual check-ups.It is also a good idea to talk about it with your partner beforehand, it's always good to get the lines of communication open and setting ground rules if you are going to have 'kinky' sex. Hmm,I must sound super-paranoid. But better safe than sorry. Anyone have any more safety precautions?
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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I think, Pillow, that one of the biggest things I've noticed in working with young adults is that too many of them have been taught that safe sex is only applicable to "sex,"...which is often very poorly defined as only penis-to-vagina intercourse.

I think the clearest way to realize that we need to assess the physical saftey of sex is to do so when we are dealing with any exchange of body fluids (semen, saliva, vaginal fluids or blood) and contact with mucous membranes (mouth and genitals). Though there certainly are risks outside that contact, those risks are basically ones we have to deal with with nonsexual contact as well.

But there are other areas of safety to be concerned about that aren't just physical: that are emotional or psychological. For instance, are both you and your partner in an emotionally safe space? Are you able to freely consent or NOT consent to certain practices? Can you define and uphold your own limits? Can you be compassionate and take no for an answer? Is it legal? It is healthy?


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Mophead
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Alrighty. Ummm... having a safeword when you're kinky. Not that I would know, but it must be better to have a safeword.
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cloudyMouse
Neophyte
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"Safer sex" for me is staying completely monogamous. I've thought about abstinence before (no risk of pregnancy) but, hey, I'm human after all!
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Hey Cloudy,,
A word: human beings are sexual whether they are having sex with a partner or themselves or not. It is no more or less healthy to abstain from sex than it is to have sex, disease and pregancy aside.

In other words, being human does not mean having a sexual partner. There are plenty of people in the world who don't have one, and have even never had one, and I assure you that they are not only just as human as you or me, they can be just as healthy and happy.


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wear*a*smile!
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wow. safe sex. well, when the word safe sex come up, everyone automatically thinks condoms, birth control, etc, etc. but isn't safe sex a thing in your mind, too??? i mean, to have safe sex, shoouldn't your mind be safe?? that you are sure that ur safe from ur partner leaving u right after??? or to make sure that u r physically safe from having repercussions??? maybe its just me, but safe sex is more then condoms and birth control, right???-
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HotGrrl99
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I don't think there is such a thing as totally safe sex. I mean, giving a boy a BJ without a condom on is not at all safe, yet about 95% of all my friends do it! Condoms break and fall off all the time too. I think the term should be "safer sex", because "safe sex" makes people feel too comfortable and actually even risk free.
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Heather
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People do tend to use "safer sex."

On the other hand, totally safe sex really does exist. It's called masturbation.


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HotGrrl99
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Hahaha! That was a good one Miz S! LOL!!
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SweetyD
Neophyte
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Is it true if a guy "pulls out" in time and ejaculates some where else you can't get pregnant. I've heard that a few times, but my boyfriend and I both wanted to know for sure first.

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Dani
~Some people don't tell the one they love how they feel for fear of their own broken heart, but in the process may break someone elses.


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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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No, Sweety, that isn't true. Pre-ejaculate -- fluid that comes from the penis during arousal -- also contains sperm.

In addition, with ANY genital contact that is unprotected you're at risk of disease and infection.


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Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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that question of "pulling out" comes up a lot. why do people try to find excuses not to use a condom??? sorry, but i am slightly irked by this response, no not at specific people, like i said, it's a question that comes up a lot. but the fact that it comes up bothers me.

to me, safer sex is monogamy, condoms, Pills, STD screenings (with your partner -- it can be a bonding experience), and communication.

I have learned that it's okay to ask my boyfriend about his sexual history, and that i'm not obsessing over his ex just because i want to know.

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i think you're special ... and i don't mean that in a short bus kind of way


Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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