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Author Topic: A poem
Celtic Daisy
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Member # 2971

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I wrote this poem last night, when i was feeling particularly bad. I just wanted to get some feedback.
HORROR
I look at the girl. Y'know?
The skinny one who refuses to buy the chips, because of the calories.
I wonder what made her that way?
What thoughts have polluted her mind?
She's so pretty, yet, she has ideals, images of perfection that are foreign to me.
I have seen these images, but I have chosen to accept other, more worthy ideals.
The ones the girl has chosen scare me.
I do not see perfection in them, but horror.
I see women killing themselves, becuse they aren't a size 16 waist.
When did natural beauty become so odd? So wrong? So weird?
I watch the skinny girl refuse food, trying to capture her "perfect" ideals.
I doubt she will ever reach "perfection".
And I cry, because the pretty, skinny girl is afraid of her own natural beauty.
And because she is my best friend.

I also wrote this one, but I don't like it as much. Please, just some honest feedback:

ALL I HAVE
Where does the time go?
Wasn't it just yesterday that I was 5?
It seems so long ago, yet so familiar.
I miss those carefree funfilled days.
I miss the way it was all simple.
Growing up is hard, and scary.
I'm glad I have my true friends to help.
So much death, destruction.
It frightens to tears.
I lay down, crying, thinking of hardships.
War, famine, murder, rape, abuse.
And for what? More of the same.
Greed, power, hunger, strength, evil.
Only to fall, and hav another take their place.
I wipe away my tears, and I can smile.
Because of all I have, and because i have my true friends to help me,
On the long road ahead.

Thanks!

------------------
"A six foot tall anorexic bimbo,with plastic breasts is making me feel weird about my own body."
-Miss Bif Naked


Posts: 1747 | From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DrQuack5
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Member # 2748

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That first poem, HORROR, I really like it. I expected it just to be (after I read the first few lines) some random, poetic pondering about a random extremely self concious girl. But that ending ... wow. What can more can I say, but holy flaming cow! That's a great, yet sad, poem.

Can I use it for class sometime?


Posts: 290 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
powergirl
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Member # 3494

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what can i say it was EXCELLIENT....it is sad yet it speaks the truth......
Posts: 13 | From: usa | Registered: Apr 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Celtic Daisy
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Member # 2971

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Hey, thanks a lot. The first i really liked too. One of my best friends, who is a twin, is extremely obsessed with her body, and sometimes it's just really hard to watch.

Yeah, sure ya can use it for class, i would be very flattered actually. Please though, for the author put either, celtic daisy, or Erin Jane.(btw, jane isn't my last name, just in case, y'know?)

Thanks again. I was getting so worried no one would reply.

------------------
"A six foot tall anorexic bimbo,with plastic breasts is making me feel weird about my own body."
-Miss Bif Naked


Posts: 1747 | From: Winnipeg, Manitoba, Canada | Registered: Mar 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
DrQuack5
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Member # 2748

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YAY! Thank you!!

But now I don't think I'm doing poetry anymore (in theater) cuz I may be in a few One Acts. Urg. Oh well. I'll still keep it with me, just in case.


Posts: 290 | From: Minneapolis | Registered: Feb 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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