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Author Topic: Nervous :(
anxietygirl
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Hi. My boyfriend and I were making out, and I ended up giving him a handjob. He ended up ejaculating before he could get back into his pants, and I noticed some of it got on my pants, not sure if it was semen or pre-ejaculate. I was wearing cotton pj pants and underwear, and I was also on my period (was wearing a pad). The ejaculate was on the leg of my pants, but I felt that my leg was damp, and so I ended up changing my pants not too long after. Is there any risk here? I read a bunch of the articles on this site, and I'm pretty sure I'm just paranoid. Thank you.
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Redskies
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Hi anxietygirl and welcome to the boards.

Thank you for reading our information first!

So, you're describing
- manual sex,
- you wearing clothes,
- semen on an object.
Does that help you break this down and, using our information, identify what risks or no-risks were involved?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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anxietygirl
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Thank you!

That does help me break it down, and from what I found on this website, I know that there is pretty much no risk from what we did. I just get so anxious, I need a second opinion.

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Redskies
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Is it just sexual activity that you get anxious about? Or do you get anxious about things generally, and if so, do you have professional support and guidance with that?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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anxietygirl
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Just sexual activity
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Redskies
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So, that suggests that at least some - or possibly all - of this sexual activity is something that you don't feel quite comfortable with or ready for, at least yet. I noticed that you said you "ended up" giving him manual sex. Was that something that you really wanted to do and felt really happy about and into, or not?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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anxietygirl
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I enjoy doing those things, in my nervousness it may have come off like I don't. I have been with the same guy for 3 years, and we have done things like this before, its just I have started to be more aware of the risks, and I just want to be sure that we are being safe. Having more than one layer of clothes on should present no risks, I just have a tendency to jump to the worst conclusions.
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Redskies
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Well, being comfortable with something includes also feeling good about it afterwards. Is there anything in particular that's making you more concerned about risks?

What do you think would help you feel less anxious?

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The kyriarchy usually assumes that I am the kind of woman of whom it would approve. I have a peculiar kind of fun showing it just how much I am not.

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anxietygirl
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I just don't want to get pregnant. Just conformation would make me less anxious
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Sam W
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We've already confirmed your risk level (you actually confirmed it before any of us by reading the info on the main site [Smile] ). So, it would be more productive for you to figure out what would make you less anxious when it comes to being sexual (e.g reading up more on risks, scaling back behavior until you feel more sure of the risk or more comfortable with the risk).

I would also take a look at this article, as it might help you with the anxiety you are currently feeling: Self-Care a La Carte

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anxietygirl
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Thank you for the article, and for responding. I'm gonna work on being less anxious, which probably means toning down the behavior [Smile] Thanks again!
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