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Author Topic: recovery
Member # 95068

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I was in a relationship a couple of years back with someone who was very emotionally manipulative. I got out of the relationship and moved on, but the impact has lasted because it was so traumatizing.

I have been in a relationship with someone who is much better for me for a while. Lately some of the trauma from the other relationship has resurfaced and I can't stop projecting the feelings onto my current boyfriend. We've both been through a lot lately, and sometimes he's not keen to do anything too physical or even up to hanging out because he's tired or stressed. He's always honest with me about what's going on in his life, and I trust him.

Some of these behaviors are triggers. My ex would ignore me or refuse physical activity and bully me into thinking it was the "right thing to do" and I should be ashamed of my desires. I've been in therapy for a long time because of it.

My current boyfriend has every right not to want to do things, but sometimes when he says that he doesn't want what I do at a given moment, I freak out because of the associations I make. Current bf understands what's going on, but I think my anxieties are making it hard for both us.

Posts: 61 | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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Member # 25425

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Have you ever had any counseling to deal with the emotional abuse of your past relationship? If not, how do you feel about getting some counseling to help you find some coping mechanisms for dealing with your triggers?

Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 95068

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I've been in therapy/counselling for a while to deal with the past trauma and also the current relationship. It definitely helps, and I'm going back in a few days. I guess I need support in the mean time: the trauma has come back much more strongly in the past few days.
Posts: 61 | Registered: Feb 2012  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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