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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » Was it rape? (Page 2)

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Author Topic: Was it rape?
Stephanie_1
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I understand where you're at. It can definately be difficult to keep your mind working where you want it to, and you can add that into your grounding technique as well. For instance, playing your instrument after a flashback, that'll help you keep your mind occupied.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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melli10
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yeahh, so i went to try and block him off my instant messenger, but as soon as tried he wrote me and started asking me when i could come over. I told him im not.
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Stephanie_1
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Save the correspondance if it's not closed yet in a folder somewhere safe on your computer. then go ahead a block him. Just know that a name can be created easily, and people can make multiple names, so don't talk to anyone that IMs you that you don't know.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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melli10
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Okay I will make sure to do that. Like he keeps on calling me very rude names and stuff saying that im going around with other guys which is not truee.
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Stephanie_1
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Like cool said above - this is one of those things where you know better. You know that the names he's calling you aren't true, and you know that when he says things he's just trying to keep that power.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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melli10
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yeah i know. it still kinda stings though, even though they aren't true.
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Stephanie_1
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It may take some time, but you'll find a way to deal with these feelings as well. Keep reminding yourself that no matter what, you know that he's lying and the names that he's calling you aren't who you are. After a while, you'll find a way to brush off the names and not give them any more than they'r worth.

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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melli10
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yeah, I just hope i find a way soon:)
Thanks for everything though, it has been so helpful.

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Stephanie_1
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Anytime. Glad I could help. [Smile]

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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melli10
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So i just thought i would give you an update. I told my band director after our pep band game tonight. What happened was i was with my friend and i was just crying and then he asked me what was wrong and it all just spilled out like a waterfall. I was crying and shaking and then he just came over and kept on hugging me and telling me that everything was going to be okay, and he had me do this thing where i would smack my hand on our music stands and say loudly that it was not my fault, and when he asked me if i believed it i was quiet so he kept having me say it louder...it helped a lot. He told me that he would only tell whoever i wanted him to, and he also said that he will look into the programs we have at our school which connect us to doctors, and everything we need. I feel a lot better after telling him...i mean it hurts that it happened, but it felt so great to know that he will always be there for me no matter what [he told me that as well!]
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cool87
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Hey melli10, I'm so glad that you've told your band director and that he reacted positively to it and is there to offer you some support and is helping you find some ressources too. It's so great to see that you have some support right now in your life. That can help a lot.

You've taken such a huge step and I hope that's one you feel proud of.
[Smile]

All of this will likely get better, that is just something that tends to take some time and it's also a process that is generally made easier with the help of a counselor so that's something you might want to consider.

[ 01-23-2009, 09:05 PM: Message edited by: cool87 ]

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melli10
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Yeah. Like my band director was really shocked at first, but he said he was proud of how strong i was being, since it just happened on monday and everything...but im so happy that i did tell. I mean i was very surprised about how supportive he was about everything and im just very relieved that i did tell.
I just know that theres a long road ahead of me because healing takes time:)

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Stephanie_1
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(((Huge hugs!))) Melli, I've got to agree with your band director, I'm really proud of you. You've been so brave and so strong, and that really says a lot about what an amazing person you are. I think you're going to find that healing comes easier knowing that A) someone you care about was supportive and believed you and B) you have a place to turn when things get hard.

The exercise your director had you do was awesome, and remember that for other times when you're really having a rough day - you can always do this on your own. I can't even begin to tell you how glad I am that he's being so supportive and helpful for you. You've made a huge step, and I'm so proud of you for that. It's not an easy thing, and you've really made a lot of progress in getting where you need to be to heal emotionally. I'm so happy to see such a positive note [Smile] Congratulations

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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melli10
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sorryy its been so long;; a lot has happened since the last time i was on here.
to put a long story short...
i was at work && i heard a song that was playing when i was raped and i had an anxiety attack so my dad picked me up and started asking me what happened and i just blurted it out...&& my dad freaked. he called the cops and they kept asking me all these questions and it was really awkward because my dad was in the room...but anyway after that my older sister drove to my house to keep me company while i had to go through questioning and going to the emergency room and stuff...it was really a traumatic thing, but i am so happy that it is out in the open now because all of my family and friends are being so supportive! [Smile] also it feels like im not alone anymore in this;; now i know that i don't have to go through all of this alone. && i just really want to say thank youu because without your help i dont know if i would have mustered up the courage to raise my voice... [Smile]

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Stephanie_1
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Melli: I'm so glad that your family is being so supportive and that you're getting help with the resources that will help you to work through everything. It's an amazing feeling to know you're not alone, and I'm so happy that you're feeling that now. Sending a million hugs and congratulations!

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"Sometimes the majority only means that all the fools are on the same side" ~Anon

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