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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Abuse & Assault » violence

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Author Topic: violence
Member # 8796

Icon 1 posted      Profile for eep_a_mouse         Edit/Delete Post 
I know i have asked advice here before and the answer has been to finish my relationship.
My boyfriend is lovely and we have had a good relationship for about a year and a half now except for one thing. He has lost his temper and become violent with me on about 9 occaisions ( thats an average of every 2 months). He always says hes sorry ( i do believe him) but i tell him its not good enough.Its not like he does it for fun its in the heat of arguments, so i dont want to split but i have started to wonder if i should try laying into him so he see's what its like....advice would be much appreciated

Posts: 42 | From: United Kingdom | Registered: Jun 2002  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 961

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If violent partners ever said that yep, they were glad about what they did, and they really quite enjoyed causing pain and trauma, do you really think anyone would stay with a violent partner? Men and women who abuse have their methods of making what they do seem like the victim's fault, of justifying their actions, of keeping someone who's little more to them than a human punching bag coming back for more. You don't deserve to be with someone who treats you like this; you need to leave him now, and seek legal help if he tries to pursue the relationship.

We've some articles on abuse you might want to read at:

Milke, with an L, SSBD, RATS, TMNTP, MF, CWCD, DNFTF

The night we met I knew I needed you so
And if I had the chance I'd never let you go

Posts: 5122 | From: I *came* from the land of ice and snow | Registered: Aug 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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I'd like to add that you being violent towards him is only going to make matters worse. In other words, if violence is the problem how is more violence going to be a solution. I'm with Milke on this one -- leaving is the safest and sanest option.

Here are a few threads from the Relationships FAQ that may be helpful:
Abuse and Abusive Relationships

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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