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I'm so glad you're taking the steps to get free! I have to admit though, it really saddened me when you said that if you didn't have your son, you probably wouldn't care about the position you're in: you have to know that you are worthy of having a good life, too! Even if you didn't have a child, you're worthy. Period.
And when I read that you're moving back in with your mother every thought in my head started screaming "NO NO NO NO!" That stepfather of yours sounds absolutely horrible and if you're going into this living situation I would reccomend you not leave your son alone around him for one minute. (though this thought probably isn't news to you) If he starts abusing you or your son, get the heck out of there!
But you know what, I'm just an outside observer and I need to back off and frankly, just making the step to leave your boyfriend is such a big accomplishment and at this point, you do whatever you need to get yourself and your child to safety. I wish the best for you!
Posts: 159 | Registered: Jan 2006
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Heather, you hit the nail on the head. Right now, I just want out. When he got home from work tonight he came in the front door, plopped on the couch and was completely oblivious to my plans. For some reason I thought he'd walk in the door and know what I was up to. I was waiting for him to come in and confront me, but it didn't happen. I can't explain why, but I feel so guilty all of a sudden - like I'm doing something horrible to HIM. Tonight I got into bed with him (he always makes me lay there until he falls asleep) and he wanted sex and the whole time I thought this is the last time his hands would be on me. I don't understand him, he hates me but I'm still okay to sleep with? Never again with him. Never ever again.
Gwaihir - thanks for your well wishes. We will be okay, I really believe that. My stepfather wont be there often so I just have to hope for the best for right now. I can't worry about all of the other stuff yet or I will end up just staying where I am at. I am going to find a job, maybe try to finally make some friends again, and I can say with my whole heart that my son is going to have a better life. I wont keep him in a situation that is dangerous for him.
Heather, no - I don't have anyone to be here with me when I leave. We will be okay though, we'll be leaving while he is at work. He will probably start to get suspicious when he calls and I don't answer (he calls a million times a day) and then he will come home to find us gone. The good news is that he's never met my mother or stepfather, so he'll have no clue where to search for us - not to mention they have a different last name than me too.
So, this is it. I'll be on my way tomorrow - wish us luck. I will try to post how everything went in a few days when I can get back online. If I take the laptop, he can't locate it somehow can he? Probably a dumb question, I just don't want to have to worry 24/7 about him suddenly popping up. I'm probably going to be paranoid for a while. Chances are he won't look for me anyway, his wish will come true. He's always telling me if I don't like it then get out, and I am.
Btw, thanks for saying you are proud of me. It's been a long time since someone has said that to me.
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Oh, lordy, I'm almost tearing up. Good for you, needtoknow. Good for you. You're so incredibly brave, and you have everything together. Don't you feel stronger already?
I saw the photos before they were removed. You and your son are absolutely beautiful (he looks just like mama!) and deserve so much better than this. And you know what? You're gonna obtain that.
I am going to find a job, maybe try to finally make some friends again, and I can say with my whole heart that my son is going to have a better life.
I swear, I almost leaped out of my chair and yelled "YES!" when I read that. Getting a job, making some friends, and rediscovering you and how to support and love yourself are great, great things to focus on. I'm freakin' amazed that you have so much motivation and positivity; you're busting out, girl!
He cannot find your location if you take the laptop as long as you make sure to block his email/IM, and take down or restrict any personal information you have up on the Net. Even so, it's incredibly hard to trace an exact location with an IP address, so you needn't worry about that.
You are both in my thoughts, and I'm sure I speak for everyone when I say we hope to hear good things soon. Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005
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For the laptop though, there have been cases where people have found stolen laptops because they knew the IP address, mac address and so on for the laptop, and the people who stole it left a program running that uses excess CPU downtime to solve protein moduleing problems. So it's unlikely that he could trace you, but you still might want to shut down all unnessacary programs such as that, get a new screenname, new email address, et cetera. (If you keep your old one and he has access to it, he could get emails directed to you and infer your address from their content)
Posts: 70 | From: Nova | Registered: Jan 2007
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I'll be thinking the best of thoughts for you all day today and tomorrow, need2know.
And while we try hard not to ask anything of our users, I'd be really apreciative if you could find a way to drop a post or an email when you're safely away, just so that we can breathe.
(And if it would make you feel better to have someone else know exactly where you are, what your name is, how to reach you, and to have a time at which, if we don't hear from you, we call your local police to be sure you aren't harmed, I'm happy to do that, too.)
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63416 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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That stepfather of yours sounds absolutely horrible and if you're going into this living situation I would reccomend you not leave your son alone around him for one minute. (though this thought probably isn't news to you) If he starts abusing you or your son, get the heck out of there!
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