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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Having Chat with others about personal info

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Author Topic: Having Chat with others about personal info
breath
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 50014

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I read about a posting that a volunteer made about doing pre-relationship negotiation instead of "Falling into a relationship-type of situation" with lot of ambiguity and unclarity.

I thought it was really great idea.

I also realize that at some level, I am a bit embarrassed to reveal someone (i.e. someone I'd be interested in) that I never have had any long-term dating relationships. I don't like to use the word dating or boyfriend, but these words have the shared meaning in our culture. Perhaps I can say that I never had a long-term romantic relationship but I'd like to focus on things that I do Have instead of what I don't or haven't experienced.

Is there any easy way to share that info about ourselves? Or is it necessary to be able to share info about our lives (even those that aren't deem hot or popular or cool by pop modern culture) as a pre-req to having authentic connections with others?

Posts: 357 | From: US | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Kachina
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 42505

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You know, I have done this with my relationships, and there were still things I didn't reveal about myself as well as things my partners didn't reveal to me right away. You don't have to share more than your comfortable - think of this relationship negotiation as an ongoing thing rather than something that only happens once. When you feel more comfortable, you can choose to share more.

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~Kat
Scarleteen Volunteer

Humans are allergic to change. They love to say, "We've always done it this way." I try to fight that. That's why I have a clock on my wall that runs counter-clockwise. - Grace Hopper

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OhImpecuniousOne
Activist
Member # 110155

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Yeah... I don't think there are many things that you're obliged to share with your partner. I do think that a sign of a good relationship is feeling comfortable enough to tell your partner pretty much anything - but that doesn't necessarily come at day one. After all, trust and intimacy are things you build over time in a relationship, they don't just spring out of the ground. [Smile]
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breath
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 50014

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Thanks so much. Well said! [Smile]
Posts: 357 | From: US | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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