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» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Control Boundaries

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Author Topic: Control Boundaries
That Strange CT child
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Hey all
So just a quick update, for the most part my mom and i are getting along better, there arent many scapegoat issues or problems with being compared to my father's side of the family (though she will sometimes compare me to a special needs child and i'll wind up wanting to kill myself for the next 3 hours but i'll talk to my therapist about that next time i see her-we were on vacation from the 13th to the 21st so its been a bit crazy)
But there are still a few issues, mainly control issues
I am 17 and perfectly capable of making my own choices, but she doesnt seem to think so and is a bit overly controlling in my opinion
I was just wondering if there should be a reasonable control level me and her should try to work out, because lately ive been feeling more of an urge to have control over my life and if i cant get it one way, i take control and either end up self harming or starving myself, ive been eating way too little since march and the end of june/beginning of july were the worst, i lost over 12 pounds, lost a ton of hair, lost a lot of muscle, and was always feeling dizzy
I cant wear any pants without a belt and i see collar bones and a few ribs if i twist my back, and my belly fat is slowly receeding
My mom and i r now figuring out a new gym schedule so that i can get fit in a healthier way but the control aspect is still an issue
One of the biggest problems is going to church
I feel that religion is a product of the human idea that we r so special that the creative force behind the universe has a personal relationship with us, and i dont believe in any of the nonsense religion teaches
Ive been told im so rude to religious people but i feel its only because by being dragged to church i feel the need to fight back against it
I feel bad for religious people trapped in their inherited ideologies, and i could get so much work done if it werent for church
Whenever i apply for a job i make a point of making myself available to work during church hours, but im currently unemployed
Half the time i go to church i go into the bathroom and masturbate (i used to go cut in the church bathroom so i guess masturbating on that toilet is safer) for half the mass, because i just cant stand going
I get called an ******* for disagreeing with church, which isnt very christian-like behavior on my mothers part anyway, and if she were a devout follower of her religion she wouldnt have her high paying job and she wouldnt be divorced
Needless to say i eat the least on weekends because thats when church is
Additionally, she thinks its appropriate to tell me what clubs and extracirricular activities i can do, which is totally telling me how to live my life and i cant stand it
Where should her involvement as a parent end and my ability to make my own choices begin??

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It is my hope that what i ask here is answered for me and anyone else afraid to ask the same question :)

Posts: 133 | From: Connecticut | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Really, this is something for people to work out within their family.

Have you two sat down and had a talk about seeing if you can't find somewhere to meet in the middle when it comes to church, and these activities you want to do?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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That Strange CT child
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We try to but it always comes back to either an argument about religion or a conversation about depression/suicidal thoughts
Maybe i could talk to her with my therapist since there would be a safer environment

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It is my hope that what i ask here is answered for me and anyone else afraid to ask the same question :)

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Heather
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By all means, this is a perfect kind of situation to ask for a therapist to help you mediate.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Heather
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(Btw, been wondering how all your water critters are!)

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67212 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
That Strange CT child
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Member # 104246

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Ok will do this
And all my water creatures are good, burrito only has 9 babies left (my friend has been rearing them-i gave him 94 and there was a giant dieoff) but burrito may be receptive again, shes fat and releases a lot of slime which may be a chemical mating beacon
The toads are great and the baby toadlets are growing fast, i gotta find forever homes for them soon hehe

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It is my hope that what i ask here is answered for me and anyone else afraid to ask the same question :)

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Heather
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94!?!?!

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67212 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
That Strange CT child
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Member # 104246

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Burrito laid like 200 eggs
A month and a half later, i gave my friend the 94 that were still alive

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It is my hope that what i ask here is answered for me and anyone else afraid to ask the same question :)

Posts: 133 | From: Connecticut | Registered: Feb 2013  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Well, all I can think is thank GOODNESS people don't reproduce that way, or we'd be going out of our minds with the level of pregnancy panic there'd be around here. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67212 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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