Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Does He Want Me Back? What Is Going On? What Should I Do? (Page 1)

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!   This topic comprises 3 pages: 1  2  3   
Author Topic: Does He Want Me Back? What Is Going On? What Should I Do?
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 9 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm 19 and he's 18.
My boyfriend of 3 years left me 1 week ago.
He is my first love and I am also his first love which makes it harder for me and I suppose him too.
We're each other's first kiss, first hug, first everything.
We did everything together.
Everything.
He gave me a promise ring with our names engraved, he made necklaces for each other and when you connect them it makes a heart and it has our names engraved in it.
I heard you can't forget your first love, and I hope he comes back to me.
He said he stopped having feelings for me 2 months ago, but I know he's lying.
Just 1 week ago before he left me we were happy and he gave me a big teddy bear.
He said that I didn't give him enough freedom and that I supposedly treated him like if I were his mother.
I never stopped him from doing anything, I was just always worried about him being safe.
Yesterday I asked him if he wanted to come over for a date and he said yes.
He came to my apartment and we weren't talking so I asked him for a hug.
So I laid on top of him while hugging him for about 10 minutes.
Then he laid me down and he was on top of me hugging me really tight and he didn't let go for a good 20 minutes.
I could feel that he missed me, I could feel that he wanted me back.
Then he started... Kissing me on my breasts and we started getting happy and we did things...
We didn't get to sex, because he stopped himself.
He said he didn't want to use me.
Then we stopped and just talked and he said he doesn't love me.
What have I done?!
Did I do something stupid?
Does he still want me?
I'm so hurt.
I just want him back in my arms.
How can I get him back?
:'(
Do I stop sending him texts?
How do I make him miss me?
:'(

Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 49582

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Saffron Raymie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Oh, Karibenitez; no worry you feel so very confused.

It looks like the realtionship just wasn't working out for him personally. It also looks like he's having an incredibly hard time separating from it emotionally - which really isn't fair on you. Coming round was a bad move on his part - he should be letting you have your own space to heal from this break up and nuture yourself back to health.

I understand how confusing and hurtful it is when a break isn't a clean break; we get muddled and even more hurt than we would have felt in the first place.

Have you had a nice good cry about this break up? Do you think you can break off contact with him now, to give yourself the space you need to heal?

--------------------
'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 9 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well since it's been 1 week since he left me, I've cried so much I feel that I can't cry anymore.
I do want to break contact from him but I can't help myself and I continue to text him and he sometimes replies back.
What I wrote happened on Saturday, not yesterday (Sorry).
I apparently got him so mad yesterday because um, Saturday night he was at a party which he NEVER does (I guess this is him trying to have some freedom), he called me at 12 am and told me he was at a party... Later I called him at 4 am because I couldn't sleep and he sounded really drunk (Something he promised he'd never do. Drink.) and like he didn't care about our conversation.
I told his older brother and his whole family thought he as drunk and he got mad and sent me a text saying to never call him again because he wouldn't answer.
So I guess he's mad at me because I said I thought he was drunk.
I keep sending him texts and he doesn't reply, and I want to stop sending him texts but I just can't help it.
I have no friends at all!
No one, he's was my everything.
I just want him back.
So much.
:'(

Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Kari, it sounds like you both would benefit from taking a break from each other so you can both sort out your feelings away from each other, and start to process the break-up.

I suggest you let him know that you need a set period of no contact, and then you take steps to facilitate that, such as blocking his number from your phone. I know that might seem tough, but sometimes it's the only way to get some space and really wrap your head around the end of a relationship.

You can use this time to take care of yourself, and do whatever you need to make yourself feel better and to move on. Maybe part of this can be picking up a new hobby or finding some way to volunteer in your community. That way, you discover new interests and talents, do something positive, and meet new people.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
So there's no way we could ever come back together? :'(
Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Saffron Raymie
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 49582

Icon 1 posted      Profile for Saffron Raymie     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's not sound to think about the future now; it's time to look after Kari, and keep Kari safe so she have space to grieve over the sadness and can heal from this pain, and nuture herself back to feeling a little better. Do you think you can block his number, Kari?

--------------------
'Obtain the virgin's consent before you marry her' - Prophet Mohammad (pbuh)

Posts: 1285 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I'm not sure if I'm ready to block him. I feel like-- I'm sorry I sound so stubborn. I just feel like we WERE meant to be together forever and I feel like he's in pain and I want to protect him and help him. I just don't know what to do. I'm just full of pain.
Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I understand that you are in pain. Break ups are always rough, and it may be especially hard for you since you have absolutely no support system.

But as hard as that is, it's really best to accept that this relationship is over. Your partner has made his choice, and while it may seem sudden and out-of-the-blue for you, it was probably not a decision he made lightly.

And while he probably is in pain, just like you are, you are not the person who can help him with this. You will just have to trust that he is turning to friends and family, and finding ways to cope with the break-up. Your job right now is to take care of you.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Thanks. He is my first boyfriend or was, and I was his first girlfriend and so I've never dealt with a break up. It's even worse because it was for 3 years, we were so connected. It's so painful.
So, lets say he, for whatever reason, regrets what he did and came back to me.
What do I do then?
Do I immediately say "yes"?
I'm sorry for being so annoying.
[Frown]

Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I don't think there is really any point in discussing what you may do in hypothetical future situations. Right now, the most important thing is that you come to terms with the way things are now.

If and when you two decide to start communicating again at some point in the future, you will figure out then how you feel, and whether there is any potential for developing a friendship, or even negotiating a romantic relationship.

But the reality, right now, is that your ex-partner did not want this relationship any longer. So for the sake of your well-being, it's best to learn to accept that and move on. Indulging in fantasies about a reunion, tempting though they are, will only make it harder for you to move on.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You're right.
Thank you for your advice.
I'll stop myself from sending him texts or even trying to call him.
I'll need to learn to move on with this.
If I ever need more advice I'll definitely come back here again.
Thanks.

Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You are very welcome. If you need to talk about this further, we are happy to listen!

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I just talked to him about that incident and he just told me that he didn't mean for any of it to happen.
We just said our final goodbyes and I feel like I can't breathe.
I literally feel like air isn't going through.
I'm panicking and I feel like screaming and crying.
Oh what do I do?!
:'(

Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I am so sorry to hear that this is so difficult for you, but I am also glad that you managed to break off contact for the moment. I think getting some space will be very beneficial to you.

I think another thing that would be really good for you is finding someone you can talk to. You say you don't have any friends, but maybe we can find someone else for you? What about your family? Co-workers? If you are in college, maybe someone from the counseling center? Do you go to church? Even if these aren't people you are usually very close to, reaching out to someone is still worth a try. And just about everyone has been through a break-up, so they'll likely know what you're going through.

In the meantime, try to distract yourself. What do you like to do? Reading, writing, watching a favorite movie, playing sports - whatever it is you like to do, indulge yourself a little in it now.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I feel like I'll never love anyone the way I love him.
It makes me sick thinking of kissing someone else, someone else touching me, having sex with someone else (because me and him were sexually active, we lost our virginity to each other), someone hugging me, everything!
I don't want anyone but him, and I plan on being single forever.
:'(

Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's perfectly normal and natural to feel this way right now. And all of these emotions can be especially rough when you're going through them for the very first time.

What are you doing to take care of yourself? Have you thought about who you can confide in with this, or how you can widen your social circle a little?

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I've been talking to a long lost friend that I had in high school (I'm a college sophomore) and he's really helpful.
He's very understanding and I have no idea how I haven't annoyed him.
He and another long lost friend were going to come over to my apartment on Sunday to help cheer me up but I told them no because I was still in pain and wanted to be left alone.
I will hang out with them this weekend and it will be the first time I EVER hang out with friends.
I have been reading some articles about moving on and they've been very helpful and I feel a little strong right now.
I think I will be okay, I just need time to heal.
:')

Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That sounds great! I am glad to hear that you have been able to connect with some old friends, and that they have been supportive to you.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeah, I have no social networks like Facebook or Twitter. I like my personal life to be left alone so I lost a lot of friends. I just need to distract myself and think of the present and my own future. I have never had a pet, do you think that maybe adopting a pet might help?
Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well, you don't need to be on Facebook or Twitter to keep in touch with your friends, or meet some new people. If you are still looking to widen your circle, it would be a great idea to join a club at your school. Focusing on a new hobby would also make for a great distraction.

As for adopting a pet, I'd suggest that you start small. If you have never had a pet, it would be wise to get a better idea of the responsibilities this entails. Is there an animal shelter in your community? They are often looking for volunteers to walk the dogs or play with the animals - that would be a good opportunity to get a better feel for the attention a pet needs.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yes! Right around the corner is an animal shelter. I love animals! Volunteering would be great! My college has an animal club and they build houses to animals and make toys, walk animals, omg I never thought about it. Thanks!
Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
That sounds fantastic! I'm glad to hear you've found something you want to get involved in. [Smile]

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
karibenitez, I wanted to throw in my two cents on this too, hope that's alright [Smile] .

First of all I'm so sorry that you're going through this right now. Break ups suck. Even the world's most ideal break up is going to hurt. (Although I really don't have any idea what an 'ideal' break up would look like).

When I broke up with my ex recently, the best self care thing that I did was not having any contact with him. It hurt like heck to break up and it hurt even more to stay away from him and have no contact, but I set myself a certain amount of time, I forget how long, about a month perhaps, and I said to myself that I would not contact him AT ALL during that time. Difficult as it was I stayed with that. I found myself looking foreward to when that time limit had passed so I could contact him again, but by the time that time had come, I didn't want to contact him anymore. I wasn't over him by any means, but I had had a month to myself, a month to be 'moonlight' not 'moonlight in a relationship' and I understood that I still had a lot of healing to do, but that I had benifitted so, so much from having time to myself. I knew that to heal, I needed to keep not contacting him for even longer.

I would strongly suggest that you DO NOT contact him for the next month AT ALL. Setting an amount of time like a month can make it much more do-able, since it's not "I'll never talk to him again", but "I won't talk to him, or contact him, or text him, for the next month, and then I'll see where I am then". I'd also suggest that you put away anything that reminds you of him.

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
@Joey Thanks. [Smile]
@Moonlight Wow, thank you. I'll definitely NOT contact him for 1 whole month! I hope he realizes what he left during that time period too! I'll need to learn to become strong. I literally have no support from anyone but 2 friends I just now started talking to again. It's been about 2 years since I last saw them. But thanks for your advice. Any more advice you'd have would be awesome! LOL. [Smile]

Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Also, I just wanted to note, the relationship lasted three years, and it's only been a week since the break up, so spent 156x longer in the relationship, than you have post break up. (52 weeks in a year x 3 years / 1 week since break up) I don't know if that helps, but it helped me to think in terms of that after my break up. What it means essentially, is that you spent a lot longer in the relationship, than you have since, so of course it will hurt, and of course it will be strange to be out of the relationship, since you're so much more used to being in it.

(That isn't meant to undermine how you're feeling, only to help you if it does).

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yes, totally understand. Thank you all so much.
Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You're welcome. We're all here if you want anymore support or advice.

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
OMG I think I might have done something I wasn't supposed to do.
Today he's getting his wisdom teeth out and I sent him a text saying, "I hope your mouth feels better soon. [Smile] "
I shouldn't have sent him a text huh?
Ugh, I hate myself now.
[Frown]

Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
No need to hate yourself, Kari! It's hard to let go of someone, especially someone who used to be such a huge part of our life.

Have you considered deleting his number from your phone? That way, even when you get tempted, you cannot write to him.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yeah I've thought about deleting his phone but I don't feel ready to completely delete him. I can't even explain myself.
OKAY that was definitely the LAST text I'm sending him!

Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
September
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 25425

Icon 1 posted      Profile for September     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
It's okay! This is tough stuff. But putting away things that remind you of your ex-boyfriend or tempt you to get back in touch with him can be really helpful. It doesn't mean that you are deleting him from your life, or your memory. You can write down the number and put it in a safe place, for example. That way, you still have it, but you won't be quite as easily tempted to write to him.

--------------------
Johanna
Scarleteen Volunteer

"The question is not who will let me, but who is going to stop me." -Ayn Rand

Posts: 9186 | From: Cologne, Germany | Registered: Sep 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
You're right! Thank you very much. [Smile]
Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Hi everyone! So I stopped texting him and stuff but then today in the afternoon he texted me! With a picture of his new haircut. It was just random! I don't understand why he'd take a picture of himself and send it to me. It's so weird and confusing. I did reply to him and we have texted for most of the day, just short random things like, "What are you doing?", "How's school?", stuff like that. Was I supposed to ignore his text? Why is he texting me??
[Frown]

Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
moonlight bouncing off water
Peer Ambassador
Member # 44338

Icon 1 posted      Profile for moonlight bouncing off water     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well there's really no "supposed to" with any of this, but I do think that it would have been a good idea (to have ignored him that is).

How would you feel about sending him one last text and politely asking him to stop contacting you? Or how would you feel about blocking him from being able to text you?

--------------------
~moonlight

I am ME and that is the only label I need.

Posts: 863 | From: Ontario, Canada | Registered: Oct 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
karibenitez
Activist
Member # 68586

Icon 1 posted      Profile for karibenitez     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Well he said he was going to the gym and that when he gets back he'll start texting me again but I want to just ignore him! And I think I will!
Posts: 99 | From: Oklahoma City | Registered: Jun 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
  This topic comprises 3 pages: 1  2  3   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3