My boyfriend lives far from me, and we're apart for the winter holidays. I won't see him until the term starts in 3.5 weeks. He's been sick, so we haven't had a chance to Skype or talk (aside from some texting) until today. He's still not feeling well, but he's seen the doctor and now has medication.
At any rate, he wasn't up to Skyping, so we resorted to chatting online instead. The conversation felt very awkward and stilted... we've chatted online plenty of times before, and usually the first time or two we talk online when we're apart is a little awkward. But I feel very uneasy now: nothing has really happened to either of us, and we don't have much to talk about, for whatever reason. If we were able to talk face-to-face on Skype, I think it would be better.
He's shy and sometimes reserved when he's sick/stressed/in a bad mood. When in person, we talk through awkward situations, but I don't really want to confront him over chat, especially if it's nothing.
I should be patient and assume it will be better when we have a chance to talk face-to-face or even next time we chat. It's just that we've been together for nearly two years and have had to deal with this kind of long distance a number of times. I wish it would get easier...
Yes, Skyping has always been better. Due to connection problems, we used to chat exclusively, and sometimes we would go back to it even after we were able to Skype. So we managed, and we've some really good conversations over chat, but I miss his voice and face. It's a lot easier to pick up on little cues if you can see/hear each other.
Posts: 42 | From: UK | Registered: Jun 2011
| IP: Logged |
I've found that typing for a period of time longer than a few minutes quite "non-emotive", it's like the text loses it's emotive powers, or perhaps it is because there is no visual stimulus or recognition of faces which we have in face-to-face conversations or video conversations.
Posts: 540 | From: Australia | Registered: Feb 2011
| IP: Logged |
I think you've got some sound ideas about this, Guitar. It's easier to disengage with text; to wander of from the computer or to run out of things to say - however close you are. That's because the visual is a huge part of comunication - as is touch and shared experience. The more senses that are shut down, the more of a lonely feel the conversation has, and the more it can feel like there is absolutely nothing to say.
This can lead to one or both people feeling insecure in a way that they would do on Skype or in person.
As a personal anecdote, my partner and I have to avoid chat when one of us isn't feeling too great - we were very suprised at how many problems it can cause. This happened long distance and non-long distance.
So, my advice to you would be to wait until you have an emotionally safer form of communication; like Skype, and engage in some self-care in the meantime; give yourself some space from him and take care for now.
[ 12-28-2011, 08:14 AM: Message edited by: Seashy Rae ]
-------------------- ~ Saffy Scarleteen Volunteer
To my Abuser: I'm seeing stars. I bet you can't do that. Posts: 1265 | From: England | Registered: Oct 2010
| IP: Logged |
Copyright 1998, 2013 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.