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loveyoumake
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Member # 41194

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I posted on here almost a year and a half ago about this same issue but it's really got me thinking this time.


Lately I have been having dreams about my ex-boyfriends parents (probably because I've been thinking about them lately). My 3 year relationship with my ex ended 4-5 years ago now... but lately I have been thinking about the relationship I had with the rest of his extended family. But mostly his parents. My current boyfriend who I've almost been in a relationship with for 3 years (but have known him for 4 years now) is for the most part really great - we still do argue occasionally but it isn't that bad and we've learned how to better deal with it. However, I still feel strange about his parents and the relationship I have with them, mostly because it lacks what I felt when I was with my ex. I just had a connection with his parents and his extended family that I never wanted to lose. But I did... and I just don't know what to do because my current boyfriend and I are so close and serious, and I know he eventually wants to propose, but do you think this has the potential to become problematic in the future if I just don't "feel" his parents? I could never picture getting back with my ex, we're completely different people and time has put miles between us. But I can't help feeling such lose all these years later because his parents were wonderful and easy to talk to and it just felt like I knew them forever.

Any thoughts? Thanks everyone <3

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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Alas, we're not always going to have awesome relationships with the families of partners, or find that we connect with families the same way. The way we connect is also, of course, not just about how we feel about our partners, they us, or how their family feels about our relationship. It's also about different personalities, styles or relating, and how different families and people are, period.

I don't think connecting very well or not with someone's family is something that means a relationship can't be successful. Not only does not connecting deeply now mean you won't later on, even if you don't, that's okay. Heck, often enough you'll be with someone who doesn't themselves connect very well with their family, or who isn't very connected to them at all, or connected to them, period.

How important is having a deep connection with a partner's family to you? How about to them? How about for your partner?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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