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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Moving on, being just friends, and making sense out of a relationship without closure

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Author Topic: Moving on, being just friends, and making sense out of a relationship without closure
turningtides
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Member # 77505

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I recently -- well, not even recently -- got out of a rather intense relationship. One that's barely a step from being an on and off sort of relationship.

But... I suppose I should start from the start.

Him and I started dating June of 2010. And that was great. We had a natural chemistry, we were great friends before we dated, and we both respected one another in every way. We dated for about two months, at which point both of us mutually recognized that there was love between us.

Two months after that, I had a close friend diagnosed with cancer, and a few other stresses going on in my life. At this point I was feeling stifled by a slightly clingy boyfriend, and stressed by the fact that we weren't going to the same schools or seeing each other often. The stress on our relationship was making us both irritable. We were fighting, hurting one another verbally and emotionally.

So I broke it off. Admittedly, I wasn't kind when I did so. It was in the heat of the moment, but I meant it nonetheless. He didn't take it well, and he wouldn't let go. Not that I was doing a good job of that either. Eventually, after a few long months of not seeing each other, but occasionally speaking to one another, we ended up dating again, at the beginning of February.

Essentially history repeated itself, things sort of just ended. And now, a couple months later, he wants to be friends -- and so do I. But I know that I still have feelings for him, and I think he feels the same. We'll be going to the same school this year.

And honestly, I'm just at a complete loss as to how to deal with all of this. How to decide what to do really. Move on, try the whole friendship thing, try the relationship again now that both of our lives have really settled down and we have time to focus on one another.

Not to mention talking to him about all of it. I don't really know how to go about that.

So I suppose what I need help with is sorting out all of the conflicting thoughts and feelings that are bombarding me -- frankly, they are getting frustrating.

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turningtides
Neophyte
Member # 77505

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Reading over this again, I'm noticing a lack of clarity in calling my ex clingy. That's sort of a word that has different connotations for everyone, and I feel the need to correct myself.

Essentially, I'm am a generally independent person, and when upset, I like space to cool down. Whereas, he has a tendency to need reassurance, affection, etc. when he is upset or frustrated. There is nothing wrong with that at all, but at the time it was rather stifling.

I hope that better clarifies my meaning.

Posts: 2 | Registered: Aug 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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