(I'm sorry, in advance, for this being so long, but I thought that some details might be necessary, to have full view of the situation?)
I am somewhat new to the complexities of relationships (a bit embarrassing, being 18....), and I'm having a hard time understanding the situation I'm in right now. Maybe someone can help, and help me figure out what to do next. I've been friends with this guy for almost five years now.... both of us are pretty awkward/nervous, and are (at least, I think for him) not really the type to make the first move... Its always been kind of, sort of understood that we like each other, but nothing has ever come of it. Lately though, we've been hanging out more than usual. At his graduation party, everyone was watching movies, and slowly everyone but his cousins left, and he started complaining to me about how annoying it was that those people stayed that long. But not me. I was okay to stay that long. He treated my gift, a book, like it was the best thing he got all day (better than multiple two hundred dollar checks from family members). When I finally left, he gave me a really big, (although characteristically awkward) hug. Later, we were at college orientation (we're fortunately going to the same college ), and we went out to eat together, and with our parents. I figured he'd let my mom sit next to me, and his dad sit next to him, but he sat with me (Probably trivial, but I thought it was nice ) After eating, we went walking for a couple of hours. Anticlimactically (although I did enjoy it), we talked about politics and philosophy, and classes we were going to take. I slightly suggested him taking a class with me, and he did . At the end of the night, as we were walking back to the dorm I was staying in, we got kind of lost, and he called his dad to get directions. Unfortunately, his dad decided it would be best to come and find him, so my plan to give him a goodnight hug (which maybe, might have led to a kiss??), was ruined. Soon after, a bunch of friends of ours made a couple of trips to various amusement parks. On both, he made a point to ride with me as often as possible. On the second of the trips, all of us stayed over night before going to the park. We went out to eat as a group, and were having a hard time deciding where to eat... I wanted to go get seafood, but others thought it would be too expensive. After that, he suggested, multiple times, that we could split up, and he and I could go get seafood. Eventually, though, we settled, and ended up going all together, and he and I ended up sharing a plate (none of us were terribly hungry), and he paid for it. The next night, I got locked out of my room (one for the four girls, one for the three guys), so I sat watching movies with the guys for a while... He laid on the bed next to me, close enough for our arms to touch.... More recently, we went out for the first time, just us. I sort of suggested hanging out, so we could swap CDs, and he suggested a movie. Last minute, he called me and offered to drive, and ended up paying for the movie. Also last minute, he decided we should go get some food (he didn't pay for that, but his accountant parents stalk his debit card charges). This last time, just us together, it was really super awkward. I was really nervous, and I'm worried that I came off as uninterested, or as just being a friend... Since then, we've only talked a little- small interactions on Facebook.... I know that he's often pretty oblivious, forgetful, and definitely romantically awkward.... but I don't know if I should keep waiting for him to suggest the next 'date,' or if I should. I instigated the last one, and really don't want to seem too pushy. Last time, the excuse to hang out was the CD swap, and he forgot to bring me mine. Should I push hanging out again to get the CD? God. I feel so immature even posting this, because I know I should be able to figure it out myself. But the thing is.... this is incredibly important to me. I've never, ever liked a person this much. He's the only person that I know that thinks the same way I do, actually cares about school/academic pursuits as much as I do, and has the same obscure interests as I do, ..... I just don't know what I should do. I feel like I just need to sit down and talk to him about it, but I don't even know what I would say. And first, I have to get him alone with me again.... Or I could call, but I don't know if that's too lame, or something. I just worry about messing up the little things, because I really want it to work. So, what should I do? Call him? Suggest another time to hang out? Or wait for him to suggest it? (Again, sorry for the length of boring, stupid details.)
Hi carly! No need to apologize for the length or the details. It doesn't sound stupid. (Also, love the Firefly quote!)
It sounds like the two of you are already good friends and you spend a fair bit of time together. I may be wrong, but it also sounds, from your descriptions, like he's interested in you but he might be unsure of how to tell you or unsure if you also like him. In situations like these, my best advice would be to talk to him about it. It's really the only way to know for sure.
There's nothing wrong with calling him up and suggesting that the two of you hang out, and then see if you can talk about it. I don't think that sounds pushy at all, even if you were the one to suggest hanging out last time.
Hope this helps! Let us know if you have any other questions
-------------------- Vero Scarleteen Volunteer Help sustain sex ed and Scarleteen: donate! Posts: 1345 | From: Canada | Registered: Dec 2005
| IP: Logged |
Well. I texted him "we should hang out again soon ." Its been nearly a day, and I haven't heard anything back. Its not terribly abnormal for him to take a long time to text back, but usually its 12 hours, at the most. I don't know why he would be ignoring me..... but I also don't know why he wouldn't have replied...... Is there anything I can do, or do I just have to wait and see if he ever says anything back, hoping desperately that he's indeed not ignoring me? I feel like texting/calling him again would really be too pushy, bordering on annoying....
(Also, yay! Someone got the Firefly reference! (That's another reason I like him; only person I know that loves Firefly as much as I do ))
Posts: 4 | From: USA | Registered: Jan 2011
| IP: Logged |
Copyright 1998, 2013 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998
Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.