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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » ALONE

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Author Topic: ALONE
Member # 46811

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Where do I start? Right now I just feel alone. The guy I've dated on and off for 2 1/2 years and I recently got on good terms. He told me how he was going through a lot with his family, they were spreading rumors about him, so I was trying to comfort him as a friend. Well, that wasn't a good idea because he was talking about being official for real this time and our future since I'm close to graduating and stuff. He told me how I was the perfect girl for him and how he missed me. He admitted to all the wrong things he did. He wanted me to tell him how I felt about him and us to help our relationship. But I just couldn't after open up after everything even though he admitted his faults.

So I haven't talked to him in almost 2 weeks. I know he just wants some type of emotion out of me. He wants me to call him, but I just can't. I don't know what it is. I mean I truly love him but I just don't want to put my trust in him like before. I do believe if I was open with him, things might work, but I have my guard up.

Another thing. At school I'm seen as the shy, cute, smart girl who is so perfect and innocent. I guess that's why I feel so alone. I don't have a "best friend" but I have people I associate with. I can't talk to a "girlfriend" about my problems. The girls I used to be friends with drink, smoke, and do other bad things. At first, I would try to talk and hang out with them but I realized I couldn't compromise myself just to have "friends." But when I hang around guys, people see me as a hoe or wanting attention. That's not me at all. I really want people to see me as who I really am. I like to have fun. Yes, I've had sex...but I respect myself and carry myself as a young lady.

I know this is kind of over the place but here's my question. Should I try to work things out, and if so, how do I become open with him? And how do I get rid of this whole perfect image everyone has of me?

Posts: 28 | From: mississippi | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 50946

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First of all, hanging around guys does not make you a hoe, nor an attention-seeker. If there are people who are so apt to call you that, you shouldn't associate with them in the first place. People will always judge you, but you're your worst critic- an no one may see you the way you do.

As for your perfect image, there is nothing wrong with that. And maybe, you don't come off as perfect as you seem. You could be being too critical on yourself- I do that A LOT. It's not healthy, haha. As long as you be yourself, that's your image. Maybe it is shy, cute, smart, and innocent. That's not a bad thing. You're not the drunk, attention-obsessed, dramatic mean girl.

For your relationship, though... I'm going to try to help you as best as I can, since I've never been in your position, but I can be logical about it. If you've been in a wishy-washy relationship for 2 1/2 years, it's not going to turn into something- it would have already. It's time to move on. Trust your instincts with not trusting him. There will be a guy who comes along whom you can trust easily and head into a non-wishy-washy relationship with. Unless, you have trust issues with any boy you meet, and not just this boy. Then that's something to work on personally and take some time off from dating. Either way, I think you should stop seeing this boy. If you've been able to stay away from him for 2 weeks, you can stay away from him forever.

Posts: 27 | From: United States | Registered: Dec 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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