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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Husband might be cheating, need advice!

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Author Topic: Husband might be cheating, need advice!
Member # 55777

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Hi everyone,

First off, let me say that I had to register a new account so that I could stay anonymous talking about this. A lot of you might be able to recognize who I am based on the information, because I've talked about it privately. I don't want any of my real life friends or family to find out about this just yet, so please respect my attempt to stay private.

My problem is that my husband has been acting really strangely lately. He's almost completely normal when he's around me, we still talk just as much, and we spend roughly the same amount of time together. There are still a host of problems, though. For one, he's not as interested in... physical intimacy, as he was before. We've been married for about five years, and have been making love steadily about two or three times a week -- until a couple months ago, when it suddenly dropped off to more like two or three times a month. The other thing is that he's been going to the gym a whole lot more lately. I keep telling him that I think he's beautiful as he is, but he has a new obsession with getting even more muscular than he already is. I don't really MIND so much, because, well, my man's pretty hot. But it's a weird change in routine.

The thing that makes me worried the most, though, is that a couple days ago I went to type an address into the web browser on our desktop computer. When I started typing, a weird address came up in the recent sites list -- a dating site. I don't really know much about this kind of thing, but this is the site in case it matters at all. Now, I know that I can't hold a candle to these young women he could find on there physically, but I can't believe my husband would actually cheat on me just because of that! In fact, I'm holding up rather well for my age (35), I work out... but I guess I'm just not as attractive as a 20 year old :-\

So my question is... what do I do next? Do I confront him? I feel like this is hardly rock-solid evidence of anything, and I certainly don't want to ruin my marriage if I'm wrong. I don't know what to do. Help please!

Posts: 1 | From: Lafayette, LA USA | Registered: Feb 2011  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 49204

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Not saying anything either way, but if the url you found is the one you posted and not the one it ultimately ends up at, then that looks more like an ad than an actual attempt at a visit.
Posts: 123 | From: USA | Registered: Oct 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
May Day
Member # 39174

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Take some time to discuss your relationship status with your partner. It doesn’t have to be framed as an accusation, but it’s important to make sure everyone is aware of partners’ wants, needs and boundaries. Are you both on the same page about what constitutes cheating? No matter how long a relationship has lasted, it’s always a good idea to make sure everyone’s expectations are clear in order to minimize the likelihood of confusion, misunderstandings and/or hurt feelings.

If you’ve had that boundary discussion already then there’s really only one (sensible) thing left to do—have a chat with your husband about his recent behavior and demeanor. We all deserve a partner we trust to respect our boundaries. If you let this suspicion fester, your relationship will suffer, whether he's cheating or not.

Try your best to be calm and listen to what he has to say.

Posts: 172 | From: Australia | Registered: Jul 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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