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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » We used to be close but now...? :/

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Author Topic: We used to be close but now...? :/
Aqlexd
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Member # 46705

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I used to be close to this guy, G, we even did a lot of stuff but weren't going out or anything. & then it stopped because we kept arguing over sex (we both wanted it but I didn't trust him enough to tell his friends who're friends with my ex e.t.c) & then he got a g/f & after they broke up we sort got back together but then fell out again & now I want things back to the way they were but when I bring it up he just closes up, wont tell me what he wants or anything. I just don't know how to talk to him any more [Frown] I trusted him with a lot & now it's all eurgh. Should I talk to him or give up?

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Aqlexd

Posts: 49 | From: Wales, United Kingdom, Europe | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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So often, we have to accept that when we want things to be 'the way they were" when a relationship has changed, that just isn't realistic. I don't know how you want things to be again, or how far back it was that they were what you wanted, but it sounds like quite a few things changed in the interim, so I'd not expect to be able to recreate the past in the present.

So, what is it you want right now? And when you tell him what you want, does he say that's also what he wants?

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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Aqlexd
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Member # 46705

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Right now, I want someone to trust & he used to say I could trust him with everything :/ & when I tell him he just doesn't reply & changes the subject or walks off.

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Aqlexd

Posts: 49 | From: Wales, United Kingdom, Europe | Registered: Apr 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Someone who won't even talk to you and outright walks away when you try to talk to them is, unfortunately, sending a pretty clear message that for whatever reason, they just don't want to be involved with you.

It's a pity he can't use his words to express that if that's how he feels, but it sounds to me like the door is pretty much closed here, given how he's acting, and that it's probably most sound for you to just give up and move on, finding someone else to become close friends with to have someone to trust.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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