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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » My friend is in a relationship with a 16yrold and she is 21.

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Author Topic: My friend is in a relationship with a 16yrold and she is 21.
June Speard
Member # 49899

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I feel like its wrong she is with him. but who am i to judge. is she wrong being with him? she tells me that they haven;t done anything sexually but enjoy each others Company and hang out alot. she tells me he is mature for his age, but im iffy about that. i just don't want her to make a mistake. she is deeply in love with him and so is he. is it wrong they are together? she tells me why can 21 year old guys be with 15/16 year old girls and its not looked down upon like her. i just want to support her, what can i do? ;/

Love AND Peace <3

Posts: 8 | From: hollywood | Registered: Nov 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 49077

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I am not sure what to say because I personally can not condone the relationship and it doesn't matter if the girl or the guy is the older one. It isn't about the age differences but more about the maturity level differences with the ages involved.


Posts: 842 | From: Ohio | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 48970

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Well, as someone whose been there, done that, I'd say it's possible though unlikely to have a strong healthy relationship between a teen and an adult because of the power differential and the differences in place in life. I was nineteen dating a twenty-five year-old, and while maturity level was not so much of a problem, differences in life experience was- he had a job and had traveled widely while I was still finding my feet at college and unsure of what I wanted out of life or even out of a relationship and in general had a pretty narrow existence thus far. In addition, I didn't drive yet, so while he was not at all controlling, he still called the shots like where we could go on dates and when, etc.

The relationship, although generally positive, only lasted six months. And in my opinion, that was a good thing because I am now able to explore who I am, what my goals are, and such without that influence. I am currently in a serious long-term relationship, but my boyfriend is going through a lot of the same growth at the same time, which I think is a healthier dynamic.

Posts: 89 | From: United States | Registered: Sep 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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