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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » it just isn't the same...what do i do..

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Author Topic: it just isn't the same...what do i do..
loveyoumake
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I don't really know where to begin but I guess I'll just start somewhere..

My boyfriend and I have been together for almost 2 years. I never thought I'd be so serious about a guy after getting hurt (emotionally) in my previous 3+ year relationship, but I have become very attached in every way possible to my current boyfriend.

The thing is, I feel like we were happier when we were "just friends" before we ever started dating. Our relationship has become really jealous... and it's just hurting us in so many ways. I don't know what to do.

A lot of things that happen between us make me really sad, and my boyfriend often blames it on my hormones or period...like he did that tonight... but he is probably right since I'm getting my period tomorrow. However, I've told him that those comments hurt and they aren't true but he keeps saying them every once and a while despite what I've said to him.

All we do is argue anymore. When we're good, we're so so good... but when we're bad it is horrible.

I hate crying and being miserable. We have more important things going on in our lives such as school, work, and other aspects of our relationship and I hate that arguing and being miserable is such a constant thing lately for us. [Frown] I don't know what to do...

Posts: 113 | Registered: Nov 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Britster
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I am certainly no expert, but I have to ask: when you argue, does he ever accept blame? Or does he usually blame you indirectly- e.g. your hormones? I think that could be a red flag.
What sorts of things cause conflict? How does the conflict usually start?

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loveyoumake
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He doesn't really blame me indirectly... but I feel like a lot of the time the stuff we argue about is my fault. We try to stay away from whos fault it is and usually I say that it wasn't his fault and he says it wasn't mine, but then I think we both feel that it was ours. We argue and fight about stupid stuff and it just gets so draining. We both want to fix things but we don't know what to do to fix it. Often times when we get in arguments we say a lot of things in the heat of the moment - so out of anger and frustration- and a lot of what is said is hurtful for both of us. I guess we need to find a better way to communicate. I just don't even know how it got to this point. We used to be so happy. [Frown]
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desmadroza10
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I think that you should be really honest with him and tell him that is not your hormones, that its just how you feel about the things he says. And when you do feel like there is an argument coming on, tell him that you need to walk away for a moment or you guys can talk about it when you guys are both calm that way nothing harmful will be said. But I think that being honest with him about how you feel is the first step.
Posts: 12 | From: In La La Land | Registered: Jul 2010  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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