posted
So. Quite awhile back, I was having depressive issues, and a friend of mine (we got REALLY close) helped me over a lot of them, then suddenly cut me off, completely. According to my friend, talking about my problems was being manipulative, and she wanted nothing more to do with me. So whoomph, I was left without my lifeline (which, to be fair, I was using her as something of a lifeline- she did quite literally save me though)
It's done, it's over with, and I'm doing well. I wrote a letter about a month back, and delivered it to her, essentially saying thank you, I owe you one, I know you don't want me around really, but if you need anything I'm willing to help. No response back, which is exactly what I expected. Bumped into her a few days ago, and we had a very, very brief talk, but it was nice.
Onto my question: Should I ask her to sit down with me, and just talk it out to see if we could be friends again, or not? Sheer logic, and looking back, says I should, but at the same time.... =X. My signature. XD
-------------------- "Fear is the mind-killer" -Don't be afraid. Posts: 117 | From: I'd prefer to keep it private | Registered: Mar 2007
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Someone I know is off in the complete and total deep end of despair- they literally know no emotion other than dispair, pain, and sadness, and literally can't feel anything else. Is NOT a risk to self, believe it or not. But can't do anything at all- the situation is very complicated. Is there anything I can do at all to try to help?
And ditto the the above, but substitute in rage and anger instead. (It's complicated)
-------------------- "Fear is the mind-killer" -Don't be afraid. Posts: 117 | From: I'd prefer to keep it private | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Oh, and just adding in a footnote to the anger, he is a risk to other people, but "controlled" - things are horribly complicated, and I really don't want to be posting someone elses details all over =X. Long story short, I'm safe from him, as are most people.
-------------------- "Fear is the mind-killer" -Don't be afraid. Posts: 117 | From: I'd prefer to keep it private | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
It may be because I'm only on my first cup of coffee (I'm not particularly bright in the morning before the caffeine kicks in), but I'm confused by these topics being in the same thread: are they related?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63418 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
Very much so, but again, I'd like to keep the exact relationship off of the boards, as it's not exactly my story to tell, and so I'm unsure if I should give the full details or not.
-------------------- "Fear is the mind-killer" -Don't be afraid. Posts: 117 | From: I'd prefer to keep it private | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Erk. I made up my mind. Basically, it's multiple personality disorder that's going on. She is seeing someone for it, I was wondering what I could do for them, just as a friend. Specifically for the two I mentioned
-------------------- "Fear is the mind-killer" -Don't be afraid. Posts: 117 | From: I'd prefer to keep it private | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
Okay, but is this someone who has basically made it clear they don't want your help via non-response to your offer of help?
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63418 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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posted
No- that's me trying to patch up relations with this person. The second part is, assuming I do, What can I do, if anything? The others believe those two are more or less "gone". If you think the only thing to do is nothing, then nothing it is. I'm just wondering what thoughts you have. They were posted separately because although they are related, they are two different problems.
-------------------- "Fear is the mind-killer" -Don't be afraid. Posts: 117 | From: I'd prefer to keep it private | Registered: Mar 2007
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posted
I'm sorry, I'm still confused. And I've had my coffee.
These are all about the same person, who has said they don't want to be friends with you anymore, and did not reply to the letter you sent?
If so, then I'd say they've made clear they don't want your help or to be involved with you. I know that's rough, all around, if that's the case, but when that's the situation, in my opinion the only thing to do is respect that boundary and allow that person to seek out help from others.
-------------------- Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen About Me • Get our book! Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead Posts: 63418 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000
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We stopped being friends quite a long time back I send a letter that no response was expected from, it was a one way message. We talked the other day, short, but nice and friendly- the way we chatted with each other when we were friends In a bit, I'm going to ask to sit down with her, and see what happens.
COMPLETELY DIFFERENT ISSUE
IF things do get patched up, as her friend, do you think, from what you know, is there anything I can do? If not, I'd simply treat those two as I had. Clearly, if after sitting down and talking with her, she says she doesn't want to know me anymore, then it's not my concern, and I will not interfere.
Sorry for the confusion. And looking over it, the real question is the second part.
-------------------- "Fear is the mind-killer" -Don't be afraid. Posts: 117 | From: I'd prefer to keep it private | Registered: Mar 2007
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