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Author Topic: Did I make the right decision?
babybear
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Member # 30364

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About a month ago I randomly met this guy at a local hangout type spot. I had just gotten out of a... I'm not going to call it a relationship, but a sort of, dating situation, and I figured why not talk to him. He was cute and kind.

Last night I broke things off with him. He is moving in a few months and a couple of weeks ago he called what we were doing a "fling" and that just didn't sit right with me. We never had sex or even did anything very sexual so it was not an issue that I felt used, I just didn't like the idea of it being a fling.

I question if I made the right decision. A couple of factors played in aside from the fact we want different things, and I want to know what you guys think.

We once were in a social setting, I arrived late and basically the minute I walk up to him he says "I just met this really hot chick named Alex, she's right over there". I was kind of like "Okay?". I let it go. Thirty minutes later we are joking around about something and I said "Why don't you go ask Alex?" in an entirely joking matter. Well he walks right up to her, and blatantly starts hitting on her right in front of me (I was a distance away but I saw everything). I got kind of upset to be honest, then he tells me he has known her for months and had "tried to get with her before". I didn't find this funny at all. Opinions?

He also told me I could focus a bit more on my abs when I work out, that cardio would really tone me up. Maybe I'm just being sensitive but that kind of made me feel bad about myself, it was a sort of random comment and honestly I think my body is fine the way it is.

I just want to know if it seems I am overreacting about anything? I know this is what I wanted but I guess its normal to question it sometimes. The primary reason I ended things was because we were not looking for the same type of relationship, but am I right to be upset by the above examples?

Posts: 250 | From: somewhere | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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You don't need to have anyone say it was okay for you to choose not to move forward with a relationship that wasn't feeling right to you, babybear. In other words, no one needs to have any kind of proof about this stuff: if it doesn't feel right and doesn't make you feel good, that's all you need to know to know it's not right for you.

I agree, the abs comment was insensitive: he's not your personal trainer, after all. And the thing with the other girls sounds dufus-y to me. But even if that stuff hadn't happened, he didn't want what you did, and the best way to choose relationships is all about choosing the kind we want. [Smile]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

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babybear
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Thanks Heather. You know, I really have to tell ya, the advice I've gotten from you and the staff over the years (it really has been that long!) has really helped me and made me a stronger person when it comes to these things. I feel like I make better decisions because of the help/encouragement you guys provide.

[Smile]

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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Oh, I'm so glad! And as always, it's always good to see you, and see you feeling stronger and more able, babybear. [Smile]

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 67131 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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