Donate Now
Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply
my profile | directory login | register | search | faq | forum home

  next oldest topic   next newest topic
» Got Questions? Get Answers. » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Heart is Torn

 - UBBFriend: Email this page to someone!    
Author Topic: Heart is Torn
LoveLost1190
Neophyte
Member # 43614

Icon 1 posted      Profile for LoveLost1190     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
OK so here's the deal. I had been dating this guy for the past three months.
Yet the other day he broke up with me. We've been friends for a long time
now, and everything seemed to be going great. We had everything in common,
always had a great time together and just loved spending time with each other.
So it was easy to believe that I fell absolutely, head over heels in love with him
very quickly, and he had said that he loved me as well. He even surprised with
a dozen red roses to tell me that he thought we were perfect for each other.
I could see in his eyes that he absolutely meant what he said.

I know that his father didn't like me very much, and that bothered my guy since
hes close to his father. I know that when we broke up, he said he wanted to stay
best friends with me, which is what we've been trying to do. Yet I can't get over
him, I'm so in love with him and when we hang out I can see that he cares so
much about me, and I can still see the glimmer of love in his eyes. I don't know
what to do about it anymore. We're going to 6 flags this Saturday as friends
but I want us to be more again.

All of my friends as well as my father said to just give him some times and he
might rethink things but I don't know if I can wait that long especially since he l
eaves for naval boot camp in march and wont be back for a long time.
What should I do? Just wait it out or what?

Posts: 2 | From: United States | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TheTasteOfPurple
Activist
Member # 43186

Icon 1 posted      Profile for TheTasteOfPurple     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
If one partner in a relationship feels they need to end it, for any reason, the other shouldn't push them to continue it; and no one is obligated to explain their reasons for ending a relationship. That being said, have you and he talked about why he felt he couldn't continue that relationship? If not, that might be helpful for both of you, especially if you're going to try to stay friends. If you decide you want to bring that up, I recommend using language that doesn't blame him or pressure him get back together with you.
Also, why does his father dislike you, and what gave you the impression that he does?

--------------------
Julia

The highest result of education is tolerance. -Helen Keller

Posts: 50 | From: Halfway down the California coast | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LoveLost1190
Neophyte
Member # 43614

Icon 1 posted      Profile for LoveLost1190     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
Yes we talked about it when we first broke up. He said that he
had thought that he could love me the way I love him, but he
couldn't. Yet even when he was saying that his eyes said
something else. So I said I would try my best to understand
and just be his friend, but I'm not sure I can do that; I love him so
much.

As for his father, my BF, well now ex, told me that his father
didn't like me. His father thought I was using him, and that I wasn't
the one for him, but he had said he didn't believe that.

I'm just so confused, because we still talk everyday, and we've been
going to the movies and such, and when he looks at me I can see
in his eyes so much caring and love hidden behind everything.
I'm so distraught over all of this, and with out daycation coming
up on Saturday, I'm just lost..............

Posts: 2 | From: United States | Registered: Aug 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
TheTasteOfPurple
Activist
Member # 43186

Icon 1 posted      Profile for TheTasteOfPurple     Send New Private Message       Edit/Delete Post   Reply With Quote 
I think, especially in this situation, it's really important to take him at his word rather than trying to second-guess him. Believing he's being dishonest with you about his motivations, saying you see in his eyes a different story from the one he's telling you in words, speak to me of a lack of trust on your part; it sounds, also, as if you might be projecting your feelings onto him rather than listening to what he's telling you about the way he feels. If you're going to have ANY kind of relationship with this person, romantic or otherwise, it's probably a good idea to examine why it is that you're refusing to believe or accept what he's trying to say to you.

Also, if you're not sure you can carry on a friendship with him without pressuring him to resume a romantic relationship, it might be best for both of you, and less confusing, not to have a friendship at this point.

--------------------
Julia

The highest result of education is tolerance. -Helen Keller

Posts: 50 | From: Halfway down the California coast | Registered: Jul 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

Quick Reply
Message:

HTML is not enabled.
UBB Code™ is enabled.

Instant Graemlins
   


Post New Topic  New Poll  Post A Reply Close Topic   Feature Topic   Move Topic   Delete Topic next oldest topic   next newest topic
 - Printer-friendly view of this topic
Hop To:


Contact Us | Get the Whole Story! Go Home to SCARLETEEN: Sex Ed for the Real World | Privacy Statement

Copyright 1998, 2014 Heather Corinna/Scarleteen
Scarleteen.com: Providing comprehensive sex education online to teens and young adults worldwide since 1998

Information on this site is provided for educational purposes. It is not meant to and cannot substitute for advice or care provided by an in-person medical professional. The information contained herein is not meant to be used to diagnose or treat a health problem or disease, or for prescribing any medication. You should always consult your own healthcare provider if you have a health problem or medical condition.

Powered by UBB.classic™ 6.7.3