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Author Topic: friends with benefits?
SnailShells
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My boyfriend ended our relationship a few weeks ago, and while I'm still nursing my wounds, I can say now that I'm not in love with him anymore. When I feel that I miss him, I realize what I miss isn't really him as a person or as a romantic partner, but just physical intimacy--kisses and more. Lately I've been wondering if it might be possible/wise to bring up the possibility of being friends with benefits later on--assuming he doesn't enter a new relationship, etc. 'Later on' would be over the summer or at the earliest spring break. I've been mulling this over for a couple days and haven't come to any conclusion over whether it's a good idea to ask an ex if he's interested in FWB or not (or just my hormones talking at the moment). On one hand, he's someone I know and trust and find sexually attractive, and someone I can feel safe and confident around. On the other hand, I have no way of knowing if he would be interested in this, if he's already pursuing someone else, or if this proposition would just make the little thread of friendship we have now weird and even more strained.

I should also note that part of our relationship, HE thought of us as FWB but wasn't very clear on that with me. So in one way, that model has worked for him before? I don't know.

What do you think? Any advice would be appreciated.

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“I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.” --John Waters

Posts: 206 | From: Bay Area, CA | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
JamsessionVT
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This is one of those things that I would go with your gut on. I would certainly give yourself time to nurse your wounds and reestablish yourself as a single gal now, and see with time how you feel. You never know what's going to happen in a few weeks/months.

So, if you come to a point where you are still single, he's still single, and you're able to talk comfortably without any bad vibes, it's something you could talk about. Obviously, your relationship with him will determine how it goes and if it's worth it...personally, I don't know if I could ever do this with a former partner, but that's me personally. A lot of this will depend on you and him.

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Abbie
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Posts: 3987 | From: Greater Burlington Area, Vermont | Registered: Apr 2004  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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