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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » is he trying to get in my pants?

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Author Topic: is he trying to get in my pants?
hollywood27
Neophyte
Member # 42190

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I have a new bf and we've been going out 4 less than a month. He often tells me he really likes me and he's really nice and considerate and understanding and sweet. I told him I don't want to have sex until I'm older and he said that's ok with him (he's not a virgin but I am). But today when we were at his house I found a condom in his pocket. He tried to hide it and then when I saw it and asked him about it he said he was supposed to give it to his friend yesterday. To top that off another girl texted his phone saying 'hi baby' and he told me it was dis girl that's stalkin him or something. He could be telling the truth but I don't know. Do you think he's trying to get in my pants and do you think he's cheating on me?
Posts: 13 | From: GA | Registered: Feb 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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You know, some people feel best being prepared for possible sex even when someone they are with says they do not want to have sex at that time. And that's actually pretty smart (save that pockets aren't the best place to store condoms). I'd try not to make snap judgments about someone who carries a condom.

Of course, he may have been honest about passing it to a friend.. or may have said that because you made him feel nervous or weird about having it.

In terms of worries about some other girl, what agreements do you two have about being exclusive? And if he feels someone is stalking him, did he then block that number? I'd expect someone to do that when they were contacted by someone they felt was harassing them.

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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
hollywood27
Neophyte
Member # 42190

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Well we're an official couple so I thought it was understood that I should be the only girl he's with and he should be the only guy I'm with. And he said he would never cheat. If he's being honest about the girl then it's probably just a girl that likes him. He didn't block her number from my understanding which makes me skeptical about her just being a stalker.
Posts: 13 | From: GA | Registered: Feb 2009  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 5375

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I'd be careful about making assumptions -- especially about things that are important to you. I think it's a much better idea to actually talk to him about monogamy and what it means to you.

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“I would have girls regard themselves not as adjectives but as nouns.” --Elizabeth Cady Stanton

Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
appleorchard
Activist
Member # 40302

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I know a lot of people who don't neccesarily lead others on, but they don't tell them their in a relationship either. This could be the case with the "hi baby", but you'd really just have to ask him. There's no point in hiding your insecurities on this issue, if you feel odd about the text, ask him if she knows about you and him. If your relationship is open and honest, he shouldn't have an issue giving you fair answers. As for the condom, I agree with Heather. Has he ever given you a reason to doubt his answers?
Posts: 69 | From: USA | Registered: Sep 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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