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Typical Young and Dumb Teenager?
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Member # 37530

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I thought I was fine. I thought I was over him, but I'm not. I've tried telling myself that he's just a douche, that I don't need him, that I no longer love him, but I don't know if any of that is true.

Even though someone recommended me riding to school with someone else, I still ride with him because I have no other choice at the moment. And today I sat right next to him in the truck, practically elbow to elbow, and he nor I said anything to each other. And honestly, as the day went on, it didn't bother me.. but tonight when I went to church and I saw him, I felt myself slip into the same hole I was in nearly two and half weeks ago. I MISS HIM, and I can't tell him that. I have my suspicions that he's already talking to another girl (I have since before this past weekend), and if he's not "talking" to her, I'm sure he's going to ask her to prom anyway- something I had planned to do with him. (I even bought my prom dress already.)

I just want to get over him. I've prayed, and I'll continue to do so, but I just want to move on. I want to forget his face for a while, forget what we did, what we shared, the good times and the bad. I want this empty feeling to go away. I want to honestly say I'd be okay with dating again, and know that he wouldn't be the reason the new guy and I broke up. I'm scared I'll let him hold me back, even though I know it's over for good. I'm scared I'll never find someone else. I'm scared to be alone.

.. And I don't know how to escape! I don't know how to keep myself from relapsing! I deserve to be happy. I know I do. I'm just too young to be hurt this way! I need to be able to move on for good. What do I do? [Frown]

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Young and Dumb.
"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go." - Keith Urban

Posts: 243 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
egads
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Member # 41367

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Sometimes, in order to move on, you must cut the other person loose entirely. Your wounds are still very fresh and being so close to him is only salting those wounds. I don't believe now is the time to be looking for a new relationship. My experience was, after my last ex broke up with me, I waited three years. Yes, I was alone, but just because you're alone doesn't mean you have to be lonely. Spend that free time with friends, meet new people, live up being single and having no other commitments.

I know how it feels to doubt yourself, but you are strong enough to overcome this. Let go of the past, let go of him and realize that you were okay before he came into your life, and you will be okay now that he's gone.

Posts: 21 | From: va | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Typical Young and Dumb Teenager?
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Member # 37530

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Thanks egads.

I'm actually better today, but I know I can't just let go of him.. I've known him since I was 3! His family is like my own. And most of all, I really don't want to forget my past. I just want to move on and be enjoy my life.

I guess yesterday was just one of those hard days. I tried being polite to him and telling him good morning this morning, and he just sarcastically said "oh.. morning." That ticked me off, but I think seeing the a#$hole he can be has really helped me let go of wanting to date him still.

There is no way I'm going to wait three years to date again. He isn't worth that.. but I don't plan on getting into another relationship for a while, at least not a serious one. I'm young, anyway, right? The past two weekends I have been doing a lot with friends, as well as spending butt loads of money. This weekend I plan on getting a friend to bring me to another party of something. Who knows, maybe I'll crash at her place, or maybe I'll just spend some time with my mom since it'll just be the two of us this weekend.

I still feel sad today, and I'm not as happy as I have usually been in the past week, but I'm not nearly as depressed.. or crying.

--------------------
Young and Dumb.
"Life is a balance of holding on and letting go." - Keith Urban

Posts: 243 | From: USA | Registered: Mar 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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