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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » trouble talking to mom

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Author Topic: trouble talking to mom
Breezy119
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Member # 13552

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I have so much trouble talking to my mother... She always said she wanted us to have an open relationship and she wanted us to be closer than her and her mother were. Yet, she seems to be so close-minded and whenever we DO talk, I don't get my 2 cents in. Its her way or no way, but she still expects me to be open. How am I supposed to tell her anything, especially serious matters, if she doesn't even hear me out? And she always told me I can decide for myself when I'm ready for sex and to get married, what college to go to, when to move out and so on, but whenever the subjects come up, she's already got everything planned, and when I try to say what <b>I</b> want, she just ignores me and says that theres no way thats happening. I mean, I don't want to go against her wishes, and I certainly don't want to ruin our relationship, but when I'm 18, I can do what I please, and I plan to. How do I get her to listen to me and be more open to MY plans?
Posts: 48 | From: Alaska | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
fobjs
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Member # 14999

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If your mother really never lets you speak then I would write your feelings down. If I were you I would write: Dear Mom, I know you want to have an open relationship with me and I want that also but I feel like you don't let me speak so I am writing my feelings. I thought that by writing what I am feeling you would read ny thoughts and you wouldn't be able to interupt. Also, you have said it is my choice about college, marriage and sex but whenever I bring it up, you seem to have everything planned out already. I love that you are looking out for me but I would love it even more if we could discuss things together. When you write this letter I think you should say what you feel but don't put all the blame on her because that will probably make her angry. Write something like, I think the first thing we should talk about is how to talk.
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Gumdrop Girl
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 568

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i'll send this to Parents, Adults and Teens.

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Posts: 12677 | From: Los Angeles, CA ... somewhere off the 10 | Registered: Jul 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Breezy119
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Member # 13552

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I just wanted to update and tell you all that I talked to my mom today, and I told her that I was having sex *which I didn't mention in my first entry*. It went really well. I definetely didn't give my mom enough credit. There was no screaming, she's not angry, she was just shocked. She wanted to make sure we were protected and that I was comfortable with my choice, and the only thing she said was that she thought I was still too young, but that something like that is a personal choice so she wasn't going to lecture me or try to convince me otherwise, and that whenever I felt it was appropriate, to let her know and we'd look into getting birth control. Just thought I'd share the good news
Posts: 48 | From: Alaska | Registered: Jun 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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