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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » How should it happen / first time

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Author Topic: How should it happen / first time
Member # 41436

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I am seventeen and in my first relationship. It's still fairly new (about seven months), but in my opinion it's a very healthy relationship: we have many mutual interests and are good with communication (including over topics like sex). We've talked it over and both agree that we would be alright with sex if it happened. (And yes, it'd be protected.) We are both virgins. The thing is, we are both still in high school and we don't even have a suitable place to do the deed, for we both want our first time to be unrushed and special. However, now that we've both discussed it and it's "out there," I feel a bit uneasy. I don't want things to get caught up in the heat of the moment and end up doing it. Yet each time we are physically intimate we go a bit further, and as far as I can see, there's a chance that it might happen that way. Should we make an effort to find some place suitable/make it premeditated, or stop physical contact altogether, or what? Or is this (not having a suitable place) supposed to indicate that we're not ready? I don't think I or he want(s) to do it out of peer pressure/influence or to prove anything or anything like that, and as I have mentioned before we understand protection methods. Thank you for your help.
Posts: 79 | From: earth | Registered: Dec 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 35485

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Ready or Not? The Scarleteen Sex Readiness Checklist

Be a Blabbermouth! The Whats, Whys and Hows of Talking About Sex With a Partner

These should be helpful [Smile] And yes, part of being prepared is having a safe and private time and space.

Once you've talked about it, shouldn't it be less likely to get out of control?

“I thank God I was raised Catholic, so sex will always be dirty.” --John Waters

Posts: 206 | From: Bay Area, CA | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 35451

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I hear you nonlinear. When me and my boyfriend started doing sexual stuff it was frustrating cause it wasn't all that often that our parents and my brothers/his sister were all out and we could have the place to ourselves. And one time we did get caught up in the heat of the moment and probably almost had unprotected intercourse but then his mum came home and we had to stop. But then for our first time we knew when it was going to happen and we had protection and it was at his house and it was really special.

I think you'd be best to make sure you have your method(s) of protection ready so that they will be there whenever your first time happens. If both of you are emotionally ready for it to happen at some point I don't think its necessarily a bad thing for the event itself to be semi-spontaneous, as long as you are both comfortable with it at the time (and its in a safe place).

[ 12-14-2008, 07:46 PM: Message edited by: Hollie5626 ]

Posts: 22 | From: Australia | Registered: Oct 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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