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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Something petty... anniversaries?

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Author Topic: Something petty... anniversaries?
Member # 39760

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So it was our one year anniversary a couple of weeks ago... and he did remember... and we went out for dinner and got icecream etc... we spent the night together and he was really sweet and all that.

And what is getting me down is that I made an effort to get him a nice gift that was thoughtful and all that... and he got me nothing? I mean I can't help but feel that this is something really petty... but I just keep thinking about it.

Are gifts really all that important? My friends' boyfriends get them these massive gifts and all that... so I just don't know... some input here would be great.

Posts: 92 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 25983

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Did he treat to dinner/ice cream? I'm just curious before I give more input, because that's the line between made some effort, and made very little to none.
Posts: 4636 | From: USA/Northern Europe | Registered: Oct 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 41097

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i feel your pain.. my boyfriend and i have been dating almost 5 months and i'm not even sure he knows when our anniversary IS. and i feel dumb bringing it up after all this time..since i didn't make a big deal about the first month. so now i don't know what to do.
i think the whole "are gifts important?" thing depends on the person.. ARE they important to you? & is he a big gift-giver? like birthday/christmas and stuff. because for example with me, birthdays aren't a big deal for my boyfriend so he didn't get me anything..
Personally i think that the fact he remembered, took you out to dinner, spent the night together, and all that is cute [Smile] sometimes i think girls worry about gifts too much.. i'm guilty too [Smile]

Posts: 3 | From: Wisconsin | Registered: Nov 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 38698

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My boyfriend is of the "doesn't like/care about gift-giving" crowd, so I've been faced with this question on various occasions. I love giving him gifts, but he's kind of uncomfortable with the whole thing, so I have to tone it down. The way I deal with it is: I look to see whether the THOUGHT was there. If he suggests going to dinner for our anniversary, or if he pays for something we usually split, or if he's just particularly sweet and lovey, I know he cares about me and wants to show me that. Just because he doesn't express it with a gift doesn't mean it's not there. I'd worry more if he forgot the anniversary or stood you up, etc, showing that it wasn't on his mind. The fact that you guys went out for dinner and dessert is fun and sweet, so I wouldn't worry! [Smile]
Posts: 96 | From: West Coast USA | Registered: May 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 38190

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if it really bothers you, i would try mentioning it to him that maybe exchanging presents would be fun. it sounds like he did put in genuine effort to have a fun anniversary, so thanking him first would be nice. someone once told me that "everyone expresses their love differently, and we need to appreciate the differences." it sounds like you each did something to make your anniversary special. learning to see that in each other helps you grow!
Posts: 5 | From: C-town | Registered: Apr 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 39760

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Haha yeah... thanks guys. I just keep forgetting that he's different to most of my friends' smitten boyfriends... and also that we have been together a fair while longer than they have and are generally both a bit more laidback with things... as we've sort of just gotten comfortable with each other.

Today he did the most thoughtful thing out of the blue... and I actually think he didn't mean to... I have been pretty sick the last couple of days so I wasn't really wanting to go up to his place and have dinner then fool around like we usually do... I just felt like chilling and watching some movies. So on the way to his place he randomly suggested we rent some movies... it actually made me melt and kind of made me realise what love actually is. The best part is that I didn't even ask him to do it... he just did.

Posts: 92 | From: Australia | Registered: Aug 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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