Sorry this is so long, but I feel it's necessary...
My boyfriend and I have been together almost six months; he is 18 and I am 17 but we are in the same class. He makes me so happy... I don't know for sure whether I am truly in love yet, because he is my first relationship and I won't pretend to know for sure what love feels like, but I think we're probably darn close to being in love. I am Catholic, and he is very strongly Christian. We haven't had sex, because we both believe in waiting for marriage (we are both virgins), but we have messed around and are intensely attracted to one another. We talk honestly and openly with each other, letting the other know how we feel and what bothers us. I feel like he knows me so, so well and he has told me things that are deeply private. He is a decent and caring person and would never take advantage of me.
However, my parents don't trust him at all. I am the youngest and the only daughter, so I know that part of this is just being protective, but they seem to always think that his motive is getting in my pants. My mom has described him as "average at best" and has expressed her disappointment that I have "lowered my standards so much" for him. My dad tells me to be careful, and that a "red light goes off in his head" when it comes to my boyfriend. I don't understand why they think this way. I know that everyone says that first love doesn't last, and I accept that I probably won't be with him forever, but all I want is for my parents to be happy that I've found someone so wonderful to share all my firsts with. I know that I know him better than they think I do. But nobody believes me because they think I'm blinded by puppy love. What can I do?
Posts: 2 | From: USA | Registered: Jul 2008
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Congratulations on your first relationship. They're fun, wonderful, exciting, and excellent learning tools.
From your description, this guy sounds pretty good. You're open, honest, and he seems to care for you.
My question then comes from your parents perspective. You're telling us what you see; but what do your parents see? Parents are amazingly perceptive and can see things when ourselves cannot--especially about our relationships. We become blinded about that person, and cannot see what another might be able to. Have you talked to your parents about it? Have you asked them (non-confrontational) what it is that gives them the little red flag?
Try and open up a little bit of a dialog. They may not be seeing what you do. Try and help them understand why you like the guy, and maybe they can help you see what you might not be able to.
-------------------- Caylin, Scarleteen Volunteer Love Scarleteen? Donations keep us around for you. So give a little! (Or a lot. Whatever works for you.) Posts: 2789 | From: The Evergreen State | Registered: Jun 2000
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