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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » New relationship issue

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Author Topic: New relationship issue
babybear
Activist
Member # 30364

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I have just started seeing a really great guy - I really hit the jackpot with this one. He gets tested regularly; even asked if we both could make a day of it - as you guys suggested, he is polite, considerate, respectful. Everything I could ask for.

But here is my problem. I have been sexually active with one person, the person I lost my virginity to. I am not sure on the exact number of people he has been with, but it is certainly more than one. We were discussing oral sex and I said that I would swallow when he had an orgasm. This immediately freaked him out - he says a girl he used to date left a bad taste in his mouth and he thinks any girl who does that must be like her. I was insulted. I thought it was ridiculous I had been with one person, made my own decisions during sex and he was going to put me down for it. I got pretty upset needless to say. I ended the conversation and said "I would never hold your past against you".

He is confusing the heck out of me and I just don't know what to do. I was pretty turned off after that conversation and may consider avoiding oral all together. It's like, it's not okay that I have had sexual encounters before him, but it's alright that he has - which makes him a hypocrite. I feel like this is a double standard as well - you know, girls are supposed to be afraid of sex and not open with their sexuality. What should I do guys?

Posts: 250 | From: somewhere | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
orca
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 33665

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Hey babybear. I can't quite tell by your post, so could you elaborate a bit about why you feel he is holding your past against you? What has he said or done specifically to make you feel that way?

--------------------
Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government. Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony.--Monty Python and the Holy Grail

Posts: 2726 | From: North America | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
babybear
Activist
Member # 30364

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He basically said "It's okay that I have done a number of sexual things in my past, but it's not okay that you have". Not those exact words of course, but ver similar.

He was appalled I have swallowed after a man has had an orgasm, yet it's okay that he has had oral sex with a number of women. Regardless, I talked to him about it and we worked things out. Thanks anyway!

Posts: 250 | From: somewhere | Registered: Aug 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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