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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » What is the next step?

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Author Topic: What is the next step?
Member # 39037

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My mom just recently found out that i was sexually active by accident actually. Anways, She yelled and screamed called me names and told me I was forbidden to see my BF ever again. Alot of people said she asked for it by leaving us alone (my bf and I) in my house by ourselves. I can understand my mothers concern condsidering my sister was pregnant at my age. When my sister got pregnant though she was very non-chalant about it. Yet im having protected sex and I get in more trouble than her. Sounds unfair to me. Anyways, Should I talk to my mom about this? We have always avoided the talk. I love my boyfriend and we having being seeing eachother still just secretly. Should I avoid the issue and pretend like it never happened? Its been about a week now. Is it too early to ask if my BF can come over again? She seems to forget things easily but i would just really like some advice from someone who has run into a similar incident!

Posts: 5 | From: California | Registered: Jun 2008  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
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It's pretty understandable for your mom to be upset. Many parents seem to have issues coping with the fact that their child is a sexual being. Seems like many parents underestimate their child's ability to protect themselves and make the right decisions, however, this is a good opportunity to prove yourself.

It sounds to me like a good talk with your mother would do a world of good. Letting it slide is probably not emotionally beneficial for either of you. You may want to suggest to your mother, (if she doesn't know, it's very important) that you are practicing safe sex, whether that be condom use or pill usage. Make it clear to her that you were taking care of yourself and making good decisions even without her knowledge.

You may want to make sure some rules are set, though, before you ask if your boyfriend may come over again. She may have rules against having sex in her house or some policy like that, and just make sure that boundaries are clear before he comes over again. Things like this don't have to be a family-relations meltdown-- they can actually open up issues and make things easier to discuss rather than keeping everything a big secret.

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"A wise man should consider that health is the greatest of human blessings, and learn how by his own thought to derive benefit from his illnesses." -Hippocrates

Posts: 755 | From: United States | Registered: Nov 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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