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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Crazy for me???

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Author Topic: Crazy for me???
sammor90
Neophyte
Member # 36373

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ok so im not sure if this is a problem people get to often but the last few girls ive tried to date have been crazy about me. i know this is a weird complaint but its almost like they act like they couldnt live without me or something even if we've just met like a few weeks ago. I would be fine with that except for i dont feel the same way about them. i would really like to get to know them alot better before i can say how i feel about them. Is there anyway to politely tell someone that i feel they've become to attached too quickly?
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Like so, "I'm really flattered you feel that way about me, but that feels a little bit too quick for me. I need a slower pace, okay?"

There's nothing impolite about telling someone they are moving too fast. Someone who clings-on that quickly isn't usually being very realistic, nor do they know you well enough to really have feelings which are so strong about the real you, rather than their idea about you.

And if it's not okay for you to not go that fast, the relationship probably would have tanked pretty quickly anyway, so it's always beneficial to speak to your own pace.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
sammor90
Neophyte
Member # 36373

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Thanks. Sounds good. i'm just figuring out who i am myself so it felt weird having someone like me that much when im not even sure i know myself.
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Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Of course. It's totally understandable that it feels awkward.

It's common enough for people to kind of fall in love with the idea of a person or the idea of a relationship before they're doing that with the ACTUAL person or the ACTUAL relationship. That's even more common when relationships are new to people and they've not a lot of experience with them, or in social circles where a lot of social status is affixed to having a boyfriend or a girlfriend.

--------------------
Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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