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Author Topic: I don't know what to think about this relationship
vixenchic42
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My guy and I have a pretty good relationship. I love him dearly, and he says that he loves me too. He's very sweet and is always thinking about me and taking care of me. And at first, we had an incredible sexual relationship. At the beginning of our relationship, we had sex three or four times a week, and both seemed to enjoy it. I really loved the way that he was so caring and adventurous at the same time, and he always told me that he was having fun too. Most of the time, he initiated sex. Even then, I wished we could have more sex (I'm insatiable), but I understand that his body has limits, and I was very pleased with our sex life. All of the sudden, however, he's stopped wanting sex with me at all. No matter what I do, he just isn't interested. It used to be that I had to be careful picking out underpants, because he'd get excited just watching me get dressed, and I'd have to schedule time for a surprise romp session, but now nothing seems to turn him on. I've tried my most sexy lingerie, I've tried making all the first moves, I've tried everything I can think of, but he's just not interested. He always says that he's tired, and just not tonight. He's so sweet and thoughtful, he still says that he loves me, and that he finds me attractive, but It's getting hard to feel that way anymore. He is bi-polar, and he says that that's the problem, that he's just in a mood, but usually his bi-polar moods last for hours, or a couple of days at the most, and this sex thing has been going on for nearly a month now. He knows it's a problem, and he apologizes, but nothing ever changes. It's really hard for me, because for the last week or so, he keeps hinting, or sometimes even saying, that we'll have sex tonight, but then he's too tired or too drunk or something else. I just can't believe that he's too tired ever night when he makes the decisions to stay up playing video games until 4:00 am. Surely sex is more fun that video games? Anyway, I don't know what to do. I don't want to pressure him into having sex if he doesn't want to, and I'll wait forever for him if I have too, but this is really hard for me, I feel on edge, and I feel like he can't possible find me attractive anymore. Like there's something wrong with me or with our relationship. We still sleep together every night, but it's just sleeping and cuddling. I really want our old sex life back.

Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated. I'm sorry that the post was so long, but this is really bothering me. Thank you for your replys!!!!

Posts: 28 | Registered: Nov 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
justpeachy
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Well, sex life within any relationship waxes and wanes. Some days there may be more of it, other days - not so much. It's pretty normal. But how long has it been going on for?

It might be so that your boyfriend has a lot of things on his mind... like his job, making enough money, paying for the awful prices of gas... anything like that.

Or maybe it's something that he just feels like he can't come straight out and talk about it right now.

I'd give him some time, and see if things just turn around. I know for one that I use to be extremely turned on at the beginning of my relationship with my man... but as time goes on, it is still good.. but usually what is good in the beginning of the relationship does tend to trickle off when the relationship gets serious, or you have been together for a long period of time... because what drives you in the beginning of a relationship is the "newness" of it. And then what keeps the relationship going from there is the emotional bond that the two of you create.


But try and just give him a little time.. and if it doesn't turn around, just tell him you'd like to talk to him.. and tell him that you're willing to do whatever you can, and that you want to help him; whatever the problem may be.

Good luck!

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vixenchic42
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Thanks for your help. We've been sex-less for about a month now. I'm not sure if he has anything on his mind, I'm not sure what it would be, his financial problems were recently fixed, he's taking a short break from work, and as far as I know, he's pretty happy with all of his friends. Maybe he just needs some time.
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