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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Problems....

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Author Topic: Problems....
PiedPiper1221
Neophyte
Member # 32887

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I wasn't sure where to post this, so I figured Relationships would work. Ok, so here it goes...

I liked this guy all last year. We are finally going out, and everythings great.

My best friend...well...she's a girl too. We are very close. We share everything. Now, recently, I've been having...thoughts about her. Like, I could see us together. But the thing is, I'm not a lesbian. There's nothing wrong with it, I just am not attracted to any other girls except her. I see myself being able to kiss her, but nobody else (except my boyfriend). I have no idea what to do. And I'm pretty sure I don't want to tell her. What on Earth is going on with my feelings?

Posts: 8 | From: Cali | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
LoV3r
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Member # 33468

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This my thought on this, I'm not judging you or anything... it's just a theory.

I would say you're bi. You may argue this being as 'you aren't attracted to any other girls except her' but to this I say, '...not yet.' (Maybe you just haven't met any other girls worth liking except her?)

Posts: 8 | From: NY | Registered: Apr 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
ghostie
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I think it's a bit early to be claiming a new sexual orientation.
For starters, many heterosexual women have fantasies involving other women, and that doesn't make them gay or bisexual at all.
For now, your mind and body may just be curious, and as your best friend is well..your best friend, I'm thinking she is someone that you admire and such [Smile] Ever hear stories about girls finding they have crushes on female teachers? This is often because they look up to the person as well.
Sexuality is very often all muddley at a young age, especially when hormones are flying! Heck, sexuality is a difficult concept at any age really.

Just remember that you definately don't have to tell her or anyone, it may make things a little uncomfortable, but you're certainly not the only straight person who has had these kind of feelings for another girl. [Smile]
This seems to be some sort of fantasy, and that's just all it is! It isn't some awakening that you're actually a lesbian, more likely just human curiosity [Smile]

Posts: 165 | From: England. | Registered: May 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
poppybluefrogs
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I agree with noisypinkbubbles, it seems early for a new sexual orientation to be stuck onto you like a label. Don't worry about whether it makes you lesbian, or bisexual.

I was reading something in the UK Cosmopolitan last night about girls who date men and sleep with men but kiss other girls occassionally. Intimacy on that level can arise from being very close friends. It's led me to be attracted to a close female friend but never actually wanting to date her. Its also how i've ended up dating my boyfriend whom was a very close friend. Thats now blossomed into more than just kissing, but that doesnt have to happen with your best friend. Experimenting or wanting to experiment is something that is natural and isn't as taboo anymore.

Relax about it.

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PiedPiper1221
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Thanks everyone. I feel a lot better now. And I know what you mean about the crush on female teachers. Been there, done that.
Posts: 8 | From: Cali | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
PiedPiper1221
Neophyte
Member # 32887

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I ended up telling her. Things worked out...okay. We've done some experimenting. I am completely in love with her. She loves me too, but we're not sure where we're going. I mean, as of now, we're "friends with benifits". I don't like it, but we are. Another thing is...how do I tell people? I mean...my mom, her mom, my boyfriend? He knows we've tried stuff...but not to a certain extent. I need help!! I'm so screwed. I mean, I was us to be girlfriends, but I don't think she's ready for that. Her mom's not as open minded as mine. Anyone have any advice? It would be very much appreciated.
Posts: 8 | From: Cali | Registered: Feb 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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