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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Do I take him back?

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Author Topic: Do I take him back?
Member # 30756

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Okay, not really...but here I go...

This will all make a lot more sense if you read an older post I made, entitled "Liar, liar..."

To make a long story short, my boyfriend has lied to me multiple times about STUPID things I never would have cared about had he been truthful.

Back a few months ago, he came clean and told me that a female friend of his sent him a X-mas present, but he didn't want to tell me about it, because "It didn't matter and I was afraid of your reaction." So of course, I mad that he hid it from me and wanted to know what was so special about this girl that he felt compelled to hide that from me. I asked him if they had ever dated or if they ever had any type of feelings for each other (outside of being friends), and he told me "No, we've never thought of each other that way". I was pissed off that he would lie over something like that, but he promised me that he had gotten everything out in the open and that he wasn't going to lie to me anymore.

That left me with a bad feeling about believe him, and I really couldn't stand feeling like that anymore, so after nearly two hours of probing him, he finally came clean with that girl. Apparently, two years ago, they threw around the idea of him moving down to North Carolina so they could date each other.

Now, had he told me this before, I wouldn't have cared. People date others. I've dated others. Not a big deal. I'm not upset that he had those feelings towards her.

But, I am absolutely livid that he lied to me about that. His justification? "You react to things badly." I've only reacted badly to things that he's lied about, though...and he knows that. Anyway, I broke up with him last night. It's not what I wanted at all--I love him with all of my heart, and I'm losing a lot more than just my boyfriend--I'm losing my best friend and I'm losing his family. I want to still be with him--But I feel like if I get back with him, he's just going to do the same thing over and over and over again...

Any objective input on this situation?

Posts: 18 | From: Detroit | Registered: Sep 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Beautiful Disaster
Member # 33220

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Well, I guess I'm biased because well...I hate liars more than anything in the world. Personally, I think you did the right thing. He may truly be trying to keep the peace, but if he thinks lying is the way to do it, should you be with him at all?
I wouldn't trust this guy if I were you. The more he lies and gets away with it, the more he's going to lie. I think you need to find someone who you can trust. Keep in mind, just because you love someone doesn't mean that you were meant to be.
Also, if he's right anyway, in the future, try not to react badly.

Hope this helped!

Posts: 43 | From: United States | Registered: Mar 2007  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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