my mom is great. I love her to death but i wish she would back off a little when comes to talking about my relationship. She's asking [practicaly every time i come back from hangin out with Kyle, my boyfriend] how was it and what we talked about, ect. then she always gets around to "casually" asking if im still virgin [slightly different words] I love that she cares enough to ask me but good gosh! how do i tell her to back off without backing off? [If you know what i mean] I've tryed "mom i get your concerns, i'll tell you if anything happens. I'm to much of a momma's girl to hide it from you. You can trust me." Any ideas?
Posts: 12 | From: Oklahoma | Registered: Jun 2006
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Ew, this is a toughy. I would just try to explain to her that you really love her, and you appreciate her concern/enthusiasm/etc with your relationship, but you just ask that she possibly pull back a little. Just explain that you're a bit uncomfortable dishing out all the details about your dates, etc. I know that I would be! Explain to her that if anything happens, you will be sure to let her know, but for now you'd like it if she would be a bit less in-your-face about it.
Of course, you don't have to use my exact wording, but you understand. I haven't exactly been in this type of situation, but the above statement is what I would've said.
Try to be gentle but firm. (That was kind of an oxymoron --- sort of.)
Just tell her that you are growing up now and that you need more space. That you really like talking with her about sex and things like that but that sometimes it is just too much.
Tell her that she doesn't have to always be here for you, asking you about sex, that you have friend you can talk to about it also and that it is sometimes even easier to talk with them because they are at the same stage of your life.
Tell her that you are going to tell her before you start having sex. I think that's what she's scared about. That you start having sex without her knowing that and that you have sex unprotected or when you are not ready to. And that, by then, it will be the time talking about sex with her.
Also, tell her that you know about sex, that you are aware that having sex can mean getting STD diseases and getting pregnant and that you are going to do anything in your power in order for this to not happen. Meaning you'll have protected sex.
Have a talk with her. Be honest. If anything happens, I guess she need to know. A lot of mother are like that, they're anxious about you. It is just normal, they're not being overprotective.
Can I ask how old are you ? Because if you're young that is really normal for your mother to be that way. Maybe she thinks you are thinking about having intercourse seriously and she just finds that it is too soon for you. Sometimes, mother have had sex early and regret it and don't want their daughter to do the same mistakes.
Again, just have a talk with her. Ask her why she is so concerned about you.
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