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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Bfs, sex and periods

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Author Topic: Bfs, sex and periods
Aela 57
Member # 27587

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Just want a general consensus here please. I just got my period today, and told my boyfriend. He has been living away at uni for a while and has been very much looking forward to getting back home and getting lots of sex. When I told him on the phone just now, he said 'fine, it's just another in a long chain of disappointments'. This isn't him joking by the way, he was serious. He then said 'just like in Rome'. The background of this comment is that I bought us both a holiday this March for his birthday to Rome, payed for everything from flights to food to gifts for his mum because he couldn't afford anything himself, which was ok. I had recently came off the pill and didn't realise I'd get my period the day before going away because I wasn't back on track with my period calender? Anyway, so he didn't get sex on holiday either because of it. But I gotta say, it wasn't exactly a dream to have my period on holiday either but I coped with it and it was fine.

Ok so, I know I'm most likely more emotional right now, but is it right for him to say this kinda thing?

Thanks, A.

Aela. 19, 5'9. Often confused.

Posts: 20 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 27855

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Right? Eh, not really, b/c it's not your fault you got your period. But his frustration is understandable. Do you guys do anything else besides have sex? If not, it would be a good idea, b/c that way he won't feel so sexually frustrated. Also, maybe he's flexible to the idea of "servicing" you when you're on the rag? My bf doesn't mind partaking in some manual sex when I'm on a light flow. Are either of you open to that? That way neither of you will feel frustrated and sex won't have to be such a big deal.

"My grandmother never gave gifts- she was too busy being raped by cossacks." ~ Woody Allen

Posts: 107 | From: United States | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Aela 57
Member # 27587

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Yes, we have been going out 18months and it's not just about sex at all. He's just very, very big on it.

And yes, we have done manual sex before during my period even oral, though I find it a bit weird and it's more his encouragement than mine.

Aela. 19, 5'9. Often confused.

Posts: 20 | From: UK | Registered: Feb 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
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Personally, no, I don't think it's okay for him to say that in that way.

If he has a preference not to have sex when a woman has her period, that's his issue to account for to himself, not yours, nor something for him to be crappy to you about.

Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
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Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 12381

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I think he was really inconsiderate.

Instead of saying how happy he will be to see you, he said he's disappointed that he can't have sex with you. A relationship isn't just about sex.

Posts: 81 | From: MO, USA | Registered: Mar 2003  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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