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Author Topic: I think all this drama is really messing me up! HELP!
Can You Keep A Secret?
Neophyte
Member # 28014

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Well, I spent the night at my friend Wendy's house, ad it just so hapens that my friend Gabi's boyfriend Brandon is Wendy's brother, so they live in the same house. I've had a crush on Brandon for awhile, but I really never thought twice about it since him and Gabi have been together for a year or so. But after Wendy went to bed at 11:00P.M. Me and Brandon stayed up untill 2 a.m. talking and hanging out, then, we started playing hide-and-go-seek in the dark, which resulted in getting on top of eachother and other suggestive things. Well, Brandon was on top of me and was teasing how he wanted to see what color my underwear were, to which I obliged. Since he told me him and Gabi broke up only a few hours before, I was quite excited. We engaged, in some very "adult" activities. Then 2 days later at school, he doesn't say 2 words to me, when before we would talk non-stop during 6th period. (We'd always get yelled at too) And to top it all off, him and Gabi didn't break-up, they're still together. I can't handle this! I don't want to be a booty call, I even asked him if I was and he said no. But I can't help but feel that way. Is their anyone who can give me some advice?

Your Harajuku Lover,
Katie

*Names have been changed.

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Sometimes I wonder how things can be so great at one moment, and so entirely suck the next...

Posts: 1 | From: Las Vegas, Nevada | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Lindsay*Marie
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Member # 26167

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I would be the same way you are! Confront him! Go up and ask him whats going on, and if he lied about being with Gabi. And if this guy is a jerk like that, that would just use a girl and cheat on his girlfriend, i hope you move on to like somebody else
Posts: 40 | From: duluth mn us | Registered: Nov 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
oOo Lea oOo
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Yes I agree. . What a manipulating Jerk!

But can I say, not meaning to offend (sorry if I do), that your judgement may not have been the best? (They broke up a few hours ago, she is your friend.)

I think you should confront the guy. Tell him that you are disgusted by the way you were treated, and the way he is treating your friend.

I also think that you should confront your friend. Let her know the situation. It may not be easy, but doesn't she deserve to know the truth . . that her boyfriend is a scumbag?

This is a sticky situation, and I truly hope it works out for the best.

As for the guy, if he is foolish enough to make up a story about his relationship ending with his girlfriend of a year just to "hook up" with one of his girlfriend's friends, and then totally deny his wrong-doing the next day (2 days in your case), then I would have to say to you . . Honey, you're not missing out on much!

You are better off without someone as weak in character as he is, and you deserve a whole lot more! Same goes for your friend.

Good Luck! I hope what I have said has helped. I hope this works out well for the both of you (you and your friend) [Smile]

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And I say thank you for the scars
And the guilt and the pain
Every tear I've never cried
Has sealed your fate.
Did you take me for a fool
or were you just too blind to see
that every effort made has failed
and there is no destroying me?
Atreyu

Posts: 366 | From: West Virginia | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
eep.a.mouse
Neophyte
Member # 28023

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I have been there and done that, except it happened over a longer period...turns out i was one of three *rolls eyes*.
I suggest you take this as one of lifes little lessons, and trust me Gabi probably doesnt want to learn it just yet if they are still going out. She will probably hate you more than him if you tell her. But do warn him on the side that you now understand his behaviour was deceitful to you and to your friend - maybe he just slipped up with you this time but if he cheats on Gabi again she will know about it.
Remember how this all happened, learn from it and avoid this scenario forever more (P.S even if a guy is single but his previous g/f was your mate, treat her and yourself with some respect and DONT GO THERE!!!!)

Posts: 5 | From: uk | Registered: Mar 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Birl Girl*
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if i was you i would tell his girl, and how he wasnt claiming her when they were going together. I hope you dont still like this guy after you see ho he is and how he can use a girl but it stil hurts because it seems as though you were used. No offense at all but it just makes you think the next time a lilttle more b4 u let a guy go all the way. ** i did the same thing except it was my first time which makes it all the more worse.***

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~*~BabyGirlWow~*

Posts: 5 | From: evanston ,il, united states | Registered: Mar 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Christina1
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I'de have to say because she's your friend and he "said" they broke up a couple of hours ago you may have been in the wrong too. But theese things happen in the heat of the moment, don't beat yourself up over this it will pass no matter what the out cone.

As for him not talking to you that seems real shady, sounds to me like he probably had a thing for you for a wile, but doesn't want to hurt his girlfriend and "your friend" so he lied to you. He seems like a total jerk and he put you in an awkward situation, ask your self, do you really want ot be friends with some one like this.mistakes happen and they can be forgotten. Mabey it would be good to ask him if he could just forget about what happened so things can go back to the way the were. Hope it all works out for you. Good Luck!

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"They say you can nevergo back, but what tthey really mean is that when you o back its just not the same."

Posts: 16 | From: Minnesota | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Cowboy101
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I just thought i would throw in a male opinion on this.

Honestly, unless you have what my friends concider "Half-Queer" (Sorry if it is offensive) which basically means that hes is extremely sensitive I do not think confronting him would do much. Since he has already bragged to his friends about what has happened.

But something that would hit him hard is if you talked to your friend about it. No guy likes stuff like that.

Again sorry if i am a little raw. Im about an hour new to this site, just smack me if i get a little overboard ;D

Posts: 11 | From: Deleware | Registered: Apr 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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quote:
unless you have what my friends concider "Half-Queer" (Sorry if it is offensive) which basically means that hes is extremely sensitive
It really is offensive, especially since no given sexual orientation or gender has a monpoly on sensitivity, and pinning being "queer" on men who are is just one of many pretty destructive gender stereotypes.

I very much appreciate your asking if it is, though, and in advance, your willingness to ditch that stuff here.

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68237 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
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(And to the original poster? Another little life lesson, even though this post is a month old, so you've probably figured it out by now?

Don't date or mess around with a friend's ex wiothout talking to the FRIEND first. Period.

And if you don't want to risk being booty call, don't engage in casual sex, or try and start a relationship with sex. Doesn't always work out that way, but if you hold off UNTIL you establish a relationship sans sex, with the time to discuss, over time, what you want and need, you can often avoid winding up in that position.)

[ 04-21-2006, 12:59 AM: Message edited by: Miz Scarlet ]

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Heather Corinna, Executive Director & Founder, Scarleteen
About Me • Get our book!
Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world. Indeed, it is the only thing that ever has. - Margaret Mead

Posts: 68237 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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