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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » thoughts on "taking a break"?

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Author Topic: thoughts on "taking a break"?
kitka
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 22756

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Anybody like to offer their experiences on taking a break from a relationship...?

My boyfriend's life has turned upside-down, so we agreed to take a break until he can fix things and then hopefully have the good relationship that we both deserve.


Posts: 455 | From: New York, NY | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Heather
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Situations like this always vary, usually depending on how much of your own life you sustained while you were together.

In other words, if you sustained a lot of your own life, your other relationships with friends and family, while you may miss a partner, it really isn't that hard. You generally get more time than you've had, for instance, to focus on your own goals and hobbies. You generally get to reassess things with the space given per what YOU need as well. Just because he asked for the break doesn't mean it can't have use for both of you.

From the sound of your other post, you sound pretty well-adjusted. I imagine you'll handle this just fine.

(Btw, in your other post, you asked if you should call your partner, and my answer to that would be that it depended on what you agreed on when you started the break. But generally, it's best to leave that ball in the court of who asked for a break.)

One thing just to be aware of. While young adult relationships tend to have a greater velocity than adult relationships, i the general arena, most relationship counselors consider relationships before six months to still be in a courting period. So, it's possible that this relationship may NOT pan out to continue romantically, or become more serious afterwards, especially given that within a few months, your partner dealt with a major crisis in his own life. So, for your own emotional health, it might be sage to just be prepared for this NOT ending up turning out to result in the relationship you envision. Absolutely, it still could, but being prepared for other possibilities is also smart.


Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
kitka
Scarleteen Volunteer
Member # 22756

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Thank you for your advice, Miz Scarlet.

I knew that the relationship would probably end when he graduated from college; it's just ending earlier than I thought it would.


Posts: 455 | From: New York, NY | Registered: Apr 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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