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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » how to know if sex is a possibility

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Author Topic: how to know if sex is a possibility
jakimboor
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Member # 21385

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when in a relationship it is advisable to talk about sex and when to have it or not. i know this is something most of you agree upon. however, this approach of talking things over before doing them, may not work as well when one has just begun a relationship which isn´t as formal as one in which the girl would expect to talk things over before. for instance, a girl i know started going out with this guy and had sex a week into their relationship. thay are still together today after about three months, so it could not be said it was just casual sex. however, they did not talk things over before, but went at it directly. my question is, given this sort of relationship (rather less formal) how can one know when she is ready to have sex? what sort of signs must one look for? i ask this because i think it´s quite important to know what signs to look for, considering most girls don´t make first moves and considering too that the relationship isn´t just that formal so as talk things over before, but isn´t mere one night casual sex either. thank you. PS by looking for sex via this sort of relationship i am in no way patronizing unsafe sex, though. thanks for your posts.
Posts: 55 | From: South America | Registered: Jan 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
-Jill
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I think it's best to discuss these things as honestly as possible.

That means if you want sex early on you need to bring that up as soon as it becomes relevant. How formal a relationship is really has nothing to do with open and honest communication: it's a necessary part of everything from a one-nighter to a marriage.

Also, if sex is important to you there's no sense in not bringing it up because your partner might not be interested. If you want a sexual relationship but are partnered with someone who doesn't isn't it best to find out about that incompatibility before it becomes a problem?


Posts: 3641 | From: Truckee, CA, US | Registered: Sep 2001  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Peaches44
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No matter how "formal" the relationship is, talking about it is the best option. I would almost consider it MORE important if you are not taking the relationship very seriously.

Also, remember that it doesn't have to be a big, long winded, heart to heart or something. As long as you cover the important parts. If you are casual about the realtionship then just be casual about the discussion.


Posts: 50 | From: Alberta Canada | Registered: Jan 2006  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
   

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