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» Scarleteen Boards: 2000 - 2014 (Archive) » SCARLETEEN CENTRAL » Relationships » Sexuality unknown-ok to make a move?

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Author Topic: Sexuality unknown-ok to make a move?
Member # 26746

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There is one guy who works at the library here, and I think he's so cute, and I told my friend if I could figure out if he were gay or straight I might hit on him. She said I should hit on first, and figure it out later.

Is this okay? I don't want to embarass myself by assuming he's straight and then be wrong. Should I try to find out if he's gay or straight first? This also goes for the other guy I like. I'm pretty sure he's straight, but not 100%. Actually, I tend to gravitate towards gay guys without even knowing it, so this is always a concern with me.

Posts: 10 | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Member # 26760

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I agree with your friend. Even if he is gay, he will be flattered by your interest. If you're attracted to someone, it is completely normal to "hit on" or show an active interest and he will understand that. Falling for gay men myself, i understand the letdown you would feel if you found out he was indeed gay. But why not take the chance? If he's not gay, you may have an awesome boyfriend or close confidant in store. If he is, at least you tried, and you may still remain close. You've got nothing to lose. Good luck!
Posts: 26 | Registered: Dec 2005  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator
Executive Director & Founder
Member # 3

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Ultimately, even if someone is opposite-sex attracted their interest in you particularly is still going to be a factor. being same-sex attracted would just be one type of disinterest, if you follow.

And whether or not someone is interested in you is really what this is about here: doesn't much matter why they aren't, if they aren't. And there's really no reason to be any more let down because a guy is gay then there would be because he's taken, celibate, otherewise occupied or just not interested, eh?

Posts: 68290 | From: An island near Seattle | Registered: May 2000  |  IP: Logged | Report this post to a Moderator

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