I'm not even sure how to begin this... but I've been dating this guy for about 3 months and I lost my virginity to him and I thought we really cared about each other... but now I'm starting to wonder. We have a 3 week break from college and I was really looking forward to seeing him over break since we only live 1/2 hour away from each other, and he had talked about hanging out over break, but then showed no interest in spending time with me. We talk occasionally on the phone, but he seemed to be "busy" with video games and relaxing and didn't initiate any plans. I got really insecure after my friend showed me her 'He's Just Not That Into You' book where one of the clues a guy doesn't like you is "He doesn't make plans with you/want to see you in person" and I got really upset and asked him why he didn't want to see me. (Stupid girl, I know.) He then made plans to see a movie with me tomorrow, but I'm worried that he just did that because I went into stupid bitchy girl mode on him. He said he didn't know it meant so much to me.
The thing is, he does this stuff a lot... just silly insensitive stuff and things that could be seen as not really being that into me... I guess I'm just wondering if he's a silly boy who doesn't realize basic things about relationships or if he doesn't have real feelings for me. I know that there's no way for anyone except him to know this... I suppose I'm just feeling depressed and looking for input.
Also, the "He's Just Not That Into You" book is heartbreaking and kind of mean. Maybe true, but... ouch, harsh.
Well girl, it seems to me as if he is acting a little wierd. What you need to do is to talk to him and tell him how you are feeling. I was in this situation before with my ex who also lived 30 minutes from me. He was always dissing me with our dates and all, and it would bother me alot but wouldnt say anything because I didnt want to cause an argument. Until one day I got tired and fed up with it so I talked to him and things worked out a bit better. (Although we did end up breaking up cuz he was cheating on me!!!...not saying that this is happening, but be careful). Talking helps a lot. I mean, you are trying your best to make the best of your relationship and if he is not putting any effort in making it good, then theres a problem. I hate when guys get like that! Dont look into the fact that you gave him your virginity because some girls feel that they have to be with the guy they lost it to, and that is even worse. AT least you know you did it because you love him and if he doesnt know how to appreciate you, then you just have to let him go. Im sure theres someone out there who really does appreciate you. He doesnt seem to. Talk to him, and see how that goes. Hope I helped!
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What's his dating history? Has he been in a relationship before? Dating is new to everyone at some point, so if this is new for him, it is entirely possible that he doesn't know how to conduct himself, and that he's learning. Communicating your needs effectively can help him learn, as you have done.
And that book? It's meant to be a wake up call for a lot of women, but don't doubt your entire relationship on it. It is a comedic book, is meant to be such, and it's to help some women realize that the married man they've been dating for 10 years isn't going to propose.
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